z

Young Writers Society


16+ Language Violence

THE FIRST supreme god, odin.

by Rover


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

THE FIRST supreme god, odin.

So after they tracked down freya they found Baldr, Odin’s best tracker they sent out to find odin himself so they thought of making a radar but that wasn’t possible so they made a radius of where odin might be so the only problem is that odin is with zeus and Jupiter so they’re going to be super sneaky so how will they accomplish this? Well stick around since its time for his location!!!! Knowing mars is from the roman kingdom odin from barbarians and zeus from Greece they have to be in Czech Republic since that’s in the middle of Greece,Rome and barbarian kingdoms. So of they went to Czech republic where they let Baldr loose . he roamed around alongside various mountains but it was hard finding 3 normal looking people in all of Czech republic so they set out to find all the “peace summits” which is basically the highest mountains there is in Czech rebuplic that mountain is Sněžka so he went there and turns out odin was there with all the other supreme gods. So baldr went back to cronos and all the other sons and wife. So know that they know where odin is “we need to come up with a plan” said Mars. Cronos realized this and said I took down all of zeus’ elite agents and a primordial god so I think I cant take care of a supreme god. “but you don’t know odin” said freya he’s the most powerful being in magic he knows everything before you even did it he’s half giant so he has visions, he has everything the only way you could defeat him is by talking him into suicide. How are you a god killer going to achieve that? Cronos said “ since he loves magic he will go all the way right?” Freya said “ yeah but why would that be of good use to kill him?” cronos said “if he goes all the way he will kill himself in czech replubic and see Helheim is to far he won’t be able to come back to us meaning he would be dead by his obsession” freya answered his theory by saying “ you are correct but in order for that to happen it has to be day everywhere and the only way you could that is by getting the wolves’ trust”. Cronos said “these wolves?” “ I already gained their trust “ “but how ?“ said freya. He said “ I’ve got my ways” so freya said “ok then that’s everything we need to kill him”. So they decided on who to vote and it came to a conclusion that there was a tie between freya and baldr . why is that you might ask? Well since freya or frigg is odin’ wife and baldr is odin’ best tracker so they decided to play….. rock,paper,scissors shoot. First to 1point. Baldr ended up winning since baldr is freya’ son. So they had to find a way to get odin alone with baldr and he did that pretty easy. “How did he manage to do that?” you might be wondering, well he just said he had news on where Fenrir a giant wolf destined to kill odin at Ragnarôk the end of Norse mythology which odin as the all father doesn’t want so what does he say to the rest to get odin alone with baldr? Well he said this “sorry for interrupting but can I speak with odin I have news for him and it’s private”. Odin reluctantly agreed and went outside to “speak” to him. Odin asked “so what news do you have, did you find Cronos?” baldr said “ no I have not, but I found where Fenrir is located”. Odin said “you know? Well how do I get to kill him before he kills me because I don’t want the realms to go bye bye after all I’ve done for them”. Baldr said “well that’s the weird part Fenrir is dead and waiting to be released at ragnarôk, so if you want to kill him you have to kill yourself to get to him and kill him there”. Odin said “ no way I am not killing myself just for that if I die I want everyone else going with me all the 9 realms to be just as dead as I am!” baldr said “ I know boss but I have a potion to make you back alive so when you kill Fenrir you can come back and continue discussing your plan to kill cronos since he’s your biggest threats”. And then odin said “ well what you don’t even know what’s the plot to that right?” “ it says in ancient myths that when odin gets trapped and it’s get to daytime he’s stuck in the realm he is in forever… so yeah odin said no and decided to go back to making a plan with zeus and Jupiter so baldr went back to cronos the sons and freya and then they decided it’s time for violence and decided to let cronos take his turn so he went up to the cafeteria and without any warning snatched odin through the café and thru the sky 2 times!!!! Then when he decided he did enough spins in the air he snatched back yeeted him to Jupiter sending both through the snow barreling down to the core. So here Cronos was fighting 2 supreme gods at once ! like 1 wasn’t crazy enough he said “ nah I want 2!” so he send Jupiter flying through space and back to his planet Jupiter so it was Odin versus cronos one of the most deadliest battle ever know to mankind so since Cronos thinks odin is smarter then him he waited for the 1st punch and Odin was dumber then he thought since he went for his spear so he saw it coming and then threw “exploder/ the exploding spear” Odin caught it and didn’t know why it shrank in size and before he knew he had his entire hand was gone and his potions full of magic? Gone, just like that “poof” I guess Odin is worthless now but Cronos was wrong he still had his spear and the Asgardian army by his side which were Einjhar, Valkyries and the valkeryie queen by him. So first he had to wipe that army he used the blades of destruction for the army of einjhar since it was a chained weapon for the valkeryie he used charger and exploder for the vakeryie queen was pretty easy, I can even describe it in one word space which means she’s in space now just floating into the infinite cosmos , dead. So now that it was just odin he had to fight he went for the first punch again and decided to believe in himself which he never did knowing he always relied on his magic. So he really had to put up a fight which he did and then he said I’ve had enough and decided to throw cronos of the mountain into the earth’s core which didn’t even hurt since yeah he's an immortal titan and god at the same time so yeah cronos is basically invisible to any physical damage and odin didn’t know this so he went and threw punches with the force of more the 1000000 tons of force for a single punch and cronos stood there UNFAZED and when he decided to take a lil break he didn’t realize that cronos’ plan was make him tired so he can make it his final activity for odin so what did odin do? He decided to make his own magic he put his fist next to his head put it down open his hand to catch the wind closed it and punched it to ground creating a big shockwave thant sent odin flying into the new planet Gorund. Where he also flew up to where he decided enough was enough and threw and entire mountain at his face odin being beaten to the ground he decided to fight back for one last time but cronos had other plans he freed Fenrir so it turned from a 1v1 to a 2v1 for some reason odin and Fenrir were teaming up and decided to go against cronos. Cronos knew this was going to happen and decided to do this, He yeeted Fenrir into space and beyond across the infinite cosmos were he found something… he found the dinos. Where he found pterodactyls tyrannosaur rex , triceratops and stegosauruses so yeah Fenrir retreated those somehow back to earth and sent them straight to Czech Republic where cronos and odin were fighting so he had to fight round 2 of “Triassic Period” with a supreme god and a giant celestial wolf so what did cronos do ? he used his blades “destroyers” and killed all the dinos and Fenrir so it was back to 1v1. Odin thought he was dead so he decided to pull out his healing magic aka bifrost which is super over powered cus one hit does extra damage can heal body parts heal any sickness so super op so he got both his arms back and came to fight kronos finally got himself a challenge from just dino’s and a giant wolf to an actual supreme god ODIN so kronos decides to wait because the first to hit is the first to die. So they wait it out for the next minute the kronos does something stupid he decides to hit first he does and next thing that happens is crazy. He hits odin with an insane punch that cannot be blocked so odin goes flying through Czech republic, Egypt, sudan, south sudan, Uganda, Tanzania, Zambia, Mozambique and south Africa and ends up in east London. Cronos decides to go there and throws him up in the air then launches himself and odin through the earth’s core and by the shockwave zeus made it out alive but Jupiter didn’t even though he’s on his own planet he went to check on odin but right as he got to earth he was imploded and evaporated. From space and time. Kronos and odin land on Kepler-452b which is an earth like exoplanet that is non-habitable to just mere mortals but gods, supreme gods and titan it is habitable so they will keep on fighting kelper-252b. so Kronos and odin land in a giant land mass full of trees, lakes, and the first primordial god the one and only XTOTIC LINK!!!!!! One of Kronos’ best friends that he hasn’t see in over a year so when they finally meet he asked if he can take the fight back into the Milky Way and not on his planet. Kronos disappointed, agreed to keep it in the Milky Way so he launches odin right back to the Milky Way and landed on mars he decides to keep the fight going he shows up with charger and what does he do? He yeets charger and odin starts laughing but he doesn’t know it came back he’s been hit in the head by the handle of charger so odin is stunned and right then and there Kronos decides to load him up with exploders odin can’t do a thing so he basically accepts defeat but tries one more thing he calls the valkeryie queen!!!! So what does cronos do? He calls up pr3s5ure and link!!! To deal with the queen she was defeated fairly easy they used charger the havocer capable of causing havoc in a people’s mind and link hits his signature move he links the queen to cronos and cronos yeets pr3s5ure away in to the solar system pr3s5ure fights the queen like its nothing shoots his arrows and then swings his sword “pressurizer” with one swing can pressurize entire galaxies so while he was working on defeating the queen, Cronos is working on odin and trying to end him so he explodes all of his explosive spears and odin didn’t even flinch he said “ is this all you got?” Kronos said “hell no that was just the tip of the iceberg” then he hit odin with a right hook sending him flying through the air, mountains even countries but sadly odin wasn’t phased and decided it was his turn he hit Kronos with the meanest suckerpunch ever he sent Kronos flying through the Himalayan mountains all the way to mercury where the actual fight begins odin’s tired so what does he do he sits down and that’s were Kronos sees a chance he grabs odin by his collar and flies him directly on the other side of the sun and then slams him through the sun, mercury,venus,earth,mars basically the entire milky way ! which makes the entire universe crack making a separate universal timeline and starting a blackhole in the first universe which takes to the multiverse!

After he finds a universe he finds odin and starts finding him again but it turned out odin was weak since Kronos took his original power source out so he killed him after impaling through that crack of the universe

Next story:

Jupiter’s death by kronos


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10 Reviews


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Sat Mar 02, 2024 6:11 pm
APoltergeist wrote a review...



Hello Rover, I've noticed your work sitting in the Green Room for quite awhile, let's get it out of there today, shall we?

I'm a huge fan of Mythology and you have a piece here based on two major figureheads, Kronos and Odin. At first, I was a little confused since both of them are from separate mythologies before realizing that this work has several deities from different mythologies that are clashing together into a fight. There were a lot of interesting lines and scenes in here.

Some things I think could be fixed are the grammatical errors and dividing this piece up so instead of one massive paragraph, it's a bunch of smaller ones. That'll make it flow better and make it easier for readers. There were also quite a few run on sentences that could be cut down, or simply separated into two or three.

So after they tracked down freya they found Baldr, Odin’s best tracker they sent out to find odin himself so they thought of making a radar but that wasn’t possible so they made a radius of where odin might be so the only problem is that odin is with zeus and Jupiter so they’re going to be super sneaky so how will they accomplish this? Well stick around since its time for his location!!!! Knowing mars is from the roman kingdom odin from barbarians and zeus from Greece they have to be in Czech Republic since that’s in the middle of Greece,Rome and barbarian kingdoms. So of they went to Czech republic where they let Baldr loose . he roamed around alongside various mountains but it was hard finding 3 normal looking people in all of Czech republic so they set out to find all the “peace summits” which is basically the highest mountains there is in Czech rebuplic


would instead look more like this;

So after they tracked down Freya they found Baldr, Odin’s best tracker, they sent out to find Odin himself. They thought of making a radar but that wasn’t possible so they made a radius of where Odin might be instead. The only problem is that Odin is with Zeus and Jupiter so they’re going to have to be super sneaky. How will they accomplish this? Well, stick around since it's time for his location!

Knowing Mars is from the Roman kingdom, Odin from the Barbarians, and Zeus is from Greece, they would have to be in Czech Republic since that’s in the middle of Greece, Rome and the Barbarian kingdoms. So they went to Czech Republic where they let Baldr loose. He roamed around alongside various mountains but it was hard finding three normal looking people in all of the Czech republic. They set out to find all the “peace summits” which are basically the highest mountains there are in Czech Republic.


There's not a lot that I can say that hasn't been said by PKMichelle but please take these suggestions with a grain of salt as they are only suggestions and completely up to you as the author.

Things I liked were the nice bits of comedy you added, such as the language you used to describe Kronos and the weapons they used to fight. The constant plottiwsts and turns were a little harder to follow, but you certainly didn't expect any of them!

While this piece had many mistakes, it was still an interesting and fun read. I hope this review is of some use to you.

From your friendly neighborhood ghost,
Poltergeist.




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Sun Jan 28, 2024 12:45 am
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Rover says...



hey this the writer, Rover. I am just to inform that i'm 13 years old and from belgium so my english isn't as perfect since it isn't my first language long story short. I learned English from Youtube.




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Sat Jan 27, 2024 11:06 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...



Hello, new YWSer!
Welcome to YWS!!! I saw your work in the Green Room and figured I’d check it out.


Per my interpretation, this was an interesting piece with some room to grow! It was very action-packed and exciting, but there were quite a few errors scattered throughout the story.

This is a story that plays on Greek mythology and some of its important figureheads, Odin and Kronos. There's a fight between the two that eventually ends in creating a multiverse and putting a crack in their current universe.

This was a very fascinating plot with lots of interesting scenes!


If I could offer any sort of advice, it would be something that applies to the whole text. When writing, you should capitalize all proper nouns, use the correct punctuation, and separate paragraphs by time, place, topic, and/or person. So, something like this...

So after they tracked down freya they found Baldr, Odin’s best tracker they sent out to find odin himself so they thought of making a radar but that wasn’t possible so they made a radius of where odin might be so the only problem is that odin is with zeus and Jupiter so they’re going to be super sneaky so how will they accomplish this? Well stick around since its time for his location!!!! Knowing mars is from the roman kingdom odin from barbarians and zeus from Greece they have to be in Czech Republic since that’s in the middle of Greece,Rome and barbarian kingdoms.


...would look like this:
(mistakes are bolded)

So after they tracked down Freya, they found Baldr, Odin’s best tracker. They sent out to find Odin himself, so they thought of making a radar, but that wasn’t possible, so they made a radius of where Odin might be. So the only problem is that Odin is with Zeus and Jupiter, so they’re going to be super sneaky.

So how will they accomplish this? Well, stick around since its time for his location!!!!

Knowing Mars is from the Roman kingdom, Odin from Barbarians and Zeus from Greece, they have to be in the Czech Republic since that’s in the middle of Greece, Rome, and the Barbarian kingdoms.


These things apply throughout the text, but, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.


If I had to pick my favorite part, there would be a couple! There were some things that really stood out to me while I was reading this!

The first thing that really caught my eye was when Cronos was talking to Mars and said he could take on the Supreme God, Odin. You said,

Cronos realized this and said I took down all of zeus’ elite agents and a primordial god so I think I cant take care of a supreme god.


This did a great job showing how cocky Cronos is and why he was so confident he could defeat Odin. I mean, he was right, but he was also very arrogant, which led me to believe he was going to get destroyed. I like the way this made me second-guess myself and thought it was really well done, so kudos to you for that!

The other thing that I really enjoyed about this story was Odin's slight comical remark when talking to Baldr about finding and killing Cronos. You said,

I don’t want the realms to go bye bye after all I've done for them.


I always love it when writers throw some comedy into the mix. It makes the reading more engaging and fun to read, which you did with this, so great job!

There were some great things happening here!


Overall, this was a decent short! There were many mistakes, but that doesn't take away from the story. There was a lot of interesting stuff happening that I genuinely enjoyed!

So I hope you can fix this up a little before the next story, and I'll be there to check that one out too!

Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!


Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!




Rover says...


hello there. Thank you for reading my work. i am 13 and from belgium so i'm not as perfect as you mentioned but thank you for the tips i will use them for my next story over thank you so much for even reading it in the first place! i'm going to certainly use it in my next story! and thx for the complements



PKMichelle says...


Hey, take your time with it! I understand it's difficult, so I wish you well on your journey! Take care, and I look forward to your next story!



Rover says...


thank you PKMichelle




cron
I like to create sympathy for my characters, then set the monsters loose.
— Stephen King