Young Writers Society

January 10, 2023 

I don’t know if I still love you. Maybe there is someone better for you who can make you laugh and smile the way I used to. For the time I knew you I hoped I did those things, I hope that I made you feel loved and special because to me you were. I loved you so much, you meant so much to me, and you were my favorite person. It hurts a lot to try and forget you because you were who I looked forward to seeing every day and when I didn't I had a bad day. You knew everything about me, well at least everything I wanted you to know. I tried to show you the most of me because you showed me the most of you. I'll never forget you. Ever. You were my first girlfriend, my first love, my first everything, the first person who really knew me and wanted to know me. I wish I could be there for you always, I want to see you succeed and become who you're meant to be. I would love to stay friends you are genuinely a good one and I love you for that. I don't know what to do in the future if you're not in it. I'm confused. It hurts me to think you might not love me anymore. I gave you a shot and I loved every second of it you made me so happy but I can't continue to try and save us because I don't know how to. We can talk about it but we both had problems. It will be hard to let you go, sometimes I think I struck gold finding you. And how could you like me back? But you did. I wish I never got myself into this if I knew it would hurt this much, just the thought of losing you hurts. I'm contempldating telling someone about the pain I’m in, but it would reveal who I really am, and that scares me. The thought of losing you scared me into tears yesterday but now all I want is to leave and make it all stop so it doesn’t go any further. I’m confused. I love you so much but I don’t know if I love you. I’m only 16. What do I know for sure what love is? I don’t want to feel alone. You made me feel seen. Maybe I’ve changed, but why do I feel so guilty for it? I don’t want to hurt her.