Young Writers Society

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the mutated S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - From what I read in the prologue and in this poem of Act One, it’s about a woman named Lilian in death, and the differences between Heaven + Hell.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - It’s alright for now, I’m just excited to read more of the story.

Chocolate Bar - I love that this was a page from Lilian’s journal, it shows that there is more to the story than chapters. I also love the tarot card reference, it fits well with the situation that’s going on.

Closing Graham Cracker - A peek at what is to come in the other chapters. Whatever lies in the beyond and waits, whether benevolent, malicious, or both, has many secrets to tell.

I wish you a fantastic day/night! ^v^

I checked the green room and wanted to read something different and this is totally 'different'.

Wow! This is an amazing poem; it gives the vibes of a theatrical drama playing on the stage.

"I am human and there are few things born into us, like sacrifice.
We grovel at it like an altar, some of it for the greater good, some for the status quo.
That's what we tell ourselves because we are human."

I totally loved this part, after reading the first two lines of the poem I liked it.

"The versions you wanted, the changes I made and worshipped.
Needless trials do not make a martyr, but a girl ripping pieces of herself to be loved.
Like it was a game, one doomed to fail."

The girl changed herself for others, but she is still not receiving the love for which she worshipped. Lovely lines!!!

You have a very awesome talent and I know that you will definitely excel in this field.
Keep it up.

Always remember: 'You don't know where your destiny lies.'
So, keep working hard day and night, I wish your destiny shines and maybe someday you might become a great poet.

Waiting for more.
Keep it up.
Thank you.