Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: This is quite the little tale here. I definitely did not expect Chocolate to go quite this far in terms of telling a story but wow you've really captured so many more elements than I thought you could and its been a really enjoyable read.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Mr.Lactecooh walked in a chocolate shop this evening. He didn’t see the clerk around, so he looked through the chocolate while he was waiting. They were colorful, some spray painted cherry red or neon green with food coloring, some had almond fillings hidden in their most sacred centers, all had a little black card showing their name. Mr.Lactecooh found the cards interesting: unlike most shops that put only the flavor on, each card still had the word “chocolate” on them, in white italic letters, “chocolate, chocolate, chocolate”, it goes on and on.
A lovely start to proceedings here. I think its a nice solid description there to kick us off, just letting us get a nice little vibe together for the place and for the kind of person that Mr. Lactecooh happens to be here. Its a lovely place to start off. Let's see where this takes us.
“What do you think the word ‘chocolate’ is about?” A voice from the table nearby spoke of his thoughts. He snuck a peek in that direction, his hat brim almost hiding his eyes. It was a small group, 4 people, all looked like they were high on champagne, none looked like they shed their youth yet. The boy who asked the question had chocolate on his finger pads, the melted cream had their own curvature and texture, like a dual set of fingerprints.
The girl sitting in the corner had her eyes closed, “How your mouth move when you talk the word shows its eating process: ‘cho’ you open your lips and let it in, ‘co’ you wait for it to melt on your tongue, ‘la’ you lick the part sticking on your upper jaw, ‘te’ you sigh happily with a short sound.”
Ooooh well this is quite the observation to start us off here. Definitely makes you think a little there. I don't think I've ever thought about chocolate quite this much better. That definitely is quite a bit more meaning there than I thought could be drawn out of it. And bracketing that of course is some more lovely description. I love how you much you hint at just through that for these new characters and its done really well.
The girl on the right tilted her head upwards, he saw the glitter of the ceiling light in her eyes, “Once upon a time, there was this guy named Chuck. He was on his way to work at the farm, when he saw something lying in the tall grass. It was a box, with little brown cubes inside that smelled like milk and sweets. Chuck wasn’t very careful about foods on the street, so he put one cube in his mouth, it was heavenly. Chuck wasn’t very careful with time either, so he stood there eating half the box, taking the time to lick his fingers thoroughly. When he got to the farm, the fellow workers are all jeering at him for being late. They shouted ‘Chuck-O-Late, Chuck-O-Late’, and that became the name of the sweet that kept Chuck late.”
Well that's a slightly sillier way to go about things but definitely a very effective story again. I am really loving these little tales. And this one definitely gets some extra points for creating a whole character just to get to the name. Let's see what more we will run into.
The boy on the right was holding a piece of chocolate by its tin foil wrapping, so his hands stays clean. “Chocolate is bad for dogs, it contains theobromine, which is toxic to the cute creatures. I heard once they have chocolate, they will start floating upward, until they’re stopped by the ceiling. If they eat chocolate in the open, they float into the universe until they are swallowed by some black hole, I define a new concept of their final resting place, it’s the noun ‘dogheaven’.”
And last it circled back to the boy who asked the question. “Speaking of dogs, I once had an annoying little kid neighbor who walked his cute dog Daisy. When he sees me eating something, he always says ‘Daisy looks like she wants to have a taste as well’, and I, under the gazes of so many others in the park, had to give a piece to him. But he always devours them himself, Daisy gets nothing. Once I met him as I was having chocolate, and he used his former technique again, I was able to tell him off saying ‘Not this time dude, chocolate is poisonous for dogs’ and finish off the whole thing right in front of his eyes.”
Oooh well that's quite the combination of moves there. Both the idea of the dogheaven and just the emotions that entails to the absolute power move there with the chocolate. That is definitely quite the statement to be making and these stories just keep getting better.
The clerk returned, and Mr.Lactecooh finally had his choice, a simple square piece of dark chocolate. He took it in his palm and went out the door. The young ones might forget what they said after a night’s sleep, but the stories engraved themselves in Mr.Lactecooh’s brain. A warm breeze blew by, and the street lamps were all blurry, he thought about how this world is like chocolate, not very bright, a bit bitter, but mostly sweet and memorable. He wondered if he, standing in this world, was part of the chocolate as well. And he decided he was.
Mr.Lactecooh, Mr. Chocolate.
Well that's a very fitting place to end that. Certainly a very well placed anagram. I think it ties up this little interaction quite nicely. All I'm left to say really is, very nicely done.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall a lovely take on what many ways you can go with the word chocolate. I certainly did enjoy it quite a bit and these were honestly some pretty compelling tales there.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Kate
Points: 254538
Reviews: 4105
Donate