Young Writers Society

“Come on, its not that big of a deal, my mom does it all the time!” My best friend Cassie looked me straight in the eyes.

“But Cassie…its bad!” I whimpered. I didn’t want to do this, but what would everyone think if I didn’t? I was torn in two directions.

“No its not,” she said, blowing smoke into my face. I couldn’t breathe, I coughed and fanned away the smoke. “If I can do it, and my eleven year old sister can do it, you can do it Olivia.”

“I don’t know…” I whispered and looked down at my white cotton dress that now had a few dirt spots on the hem.

“Olivia…do it for me?” she whispered.

I looked at her hand full of green leaves and I cringed. “Cassie…” I whispered and began backing up. “I’m not gonna do it,” I said and turned, walking back to my house.

“You’re a loser then Olivia, you suck, I hate you!” I could hear Cassie yelling at me. I ran to my house, tears falling down my cheeks. How could my best friend do this? She knew it was wrong, she had promised to never do it.

I ran inside, slamming the door. “What’s wrong honey?” my mom asked me, but I quickly ran upstairs before she could ask any more. I nearly broke the door I shut it so hard. I ran to my frilly pink bed and lay down, crying my thirteen year old eyes out.

“Olivia?” I heard my mom open the door.

“Go away!” I cried.

“What’s wrong?”

“I said go away!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, now GO AWAY!” I screamed and threw a pillow. She quickly closed the door before it reached her, but I screamed even more. I took my lava lamp, smashing it with my mom’s heels, breaking the snow globe that Cassie had given me. It hurt, and I couldn’t stand it.

Suddenly, my small pink cord phone rang and I quickly picked it up. “Olivia?” the voice I had heard since I was four and a half rang through my ear.

“Hi Cassie.”

“Olivia, why don’t you just do it? You don’t even have to smoke weed, please…for me?”

I sat in silence for a moment, pondering over the thought.

“Olivia?”

“What if my mom finds out?” I asked.

“She’s not going to Olivia, my mom hasn’t found out yet.”

“But…”

“Olivia, it doesn’t even hurt. It’s an amazing feeling, don’t…” she sighed and took in a breath. “Do you want to fly?”

“You know I do.”

“You can, this can help you do anything.”

“But Cassie…my mom…you know there are such things as drug tests right?”

“Like your mom will think you need one.”

I knew Cassie was right. To my mom, I was a perfect angel. I got straight A’s, never got in a fight, and according to her, would never even think about doing drugs.

“Olivia…please?”

We sat in silence for a few more moments until I remembered what everyone had told me. The adults all told me it was bad, it would hurt me. But I knew people who had gotten “high” before and they told me it was the best feeling…even Cassie had said it. Cassie. My best friend, the one I trusted.

“I’ll do it,” the words slipped from my chapped but wet lips.

“Do you just want to do the cigarettes?” she asked me.

“No, I’ll do the weed. What kind is it?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“I don’t care anyways. How about we go to the school’s playground? I mean its Saturday, no one’s gonna be there.”

“Sure, I’ll meet you there.”

I quickly went out the door. I could hear my mom calling my name, but I didn’t stop. I ran until I reached my small elementary school, Cassie was already waiting there for me.

“Here,” she said and handed me a cigarette. “Try this first.” She handed me the small blue lighter and I quickly put the roll in my mouth, lighting it. I breathed it in and took the cigarette out, coughing.

“Come on, its gonna be okay. I had a hard time too.” I watched Cassie inhale the smoke easily, and she was doing it.

I kept breathing in, it burned my throat. I just wanted to spit it out, and I did.

“Let’s try the weed,” I said, wiping my mouth. “Where did you get it anyways?”

“I found it in my mom’s room. I think it’s her boyfriend, Hank’s.”

I quickly grabbed the roll and lit it. The pain was burning, but the scent was what got me. It was like nothing I had ever tasted before.

At first, it had been scorching pain in my lungs, but now, it was just a sensation. A sensation of satisfaction…now, I wondered what the weed would be like. I breathed the smoke into my friend’s face.

She handed me the green roll and I placed it in my mouth, putting the small flame to what seemed like my mouth. It was easier than the first cigarette, and there was taste. The taste was amazing, it filled me with gladness. I just wanted to run, run free. I wanted to jump up and down, I wanted to do things I had never even dreamed of before.

“Do you got anything else?” I asked quickly, my words being strange to my tounge.

“Come here,” Cassie said and I pulled my roll out of my mouth. She pulled out a small container filled with white powder. “Hank claims this is the good stuff.”

“Do you just light it?”

“I guess so,” Cassie shrugged and set fire to the white powder. I breathed in the scent. It was awful, but I just couldn’t get enough of it. I had to have more. I kept breathing in the scent until the white poweder was gone.

“Do you feel it?” Cassie walked around quickly. I did feel it. I felt warmth and tingle all over my body. It was amazing, and I wanted more. I felt as if I could fly. I felt like a bird. I felt like a superhero. I felt like I could hurdle buildings and swim under the ocean forever.

But the days that followed, I was hurt. I couldn’t breathe anymore. I couldn’t tell my mom why I came home smelling of smoke and was crazy. I couldn’t hang out with my other friends anymore. I wanted to let it out, I wanted to die. Oh, how I wanted to die. Cassie had already lost her virginity a few months later, and a year later, commited suicide. How I wished I could have been like her, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to when I walked to the playground that day. I wished I could take it back, but I can’t, and I still feel on top of the world when the smoke is in my lungs, but as soon as its out…I can’t breathe.

The night I went to the party at age fourteen was when I was lost. Kids brought pot, and I wanted it. I wanted the smoke. They brought the powder and burned it in a nearby alley. How I wished Cassie could be here, but I soon forgot about her. She was gone, and it was her fault.

“Hey Olivia,” a guy I didn’t even know wrapped his arms around me and put his lips to mine, slowly unzipping my jeans. The taste of his kiss was amazing, and I couldn’t resist but stay with him through the night, his arms around my body. His smoky breath on my cheek, us together breathing in pot and white powder.

And now I’m hooked. Me, Olivia, now fifteen years old. Hooked on smoke. Hooked on Marijuana and crack and others that I don’t even know the name of. I have scars on my arms. I’m pregnant. I’ve kissed a girl. I was almost got caught drug dealing. I don’t know how many times I’ve been raped, or how many times I’ve tried to die, but I can’t. I'm now in a crazy person place, where everyone has problems. I just hiked in the desert for two months with a group with people who have problems like mine. But mine still aren't solved, and I don't know if they ever will be. Where did my life go wrong? But I know that answer. It was when I inhaled that first breath of weed. That sweet, burning breath