MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:
Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret
Thanks for sharing this lovely poem The title and first three lines taught my attention right away and I knew I had to read the rest.
I think you start off incredibly strong with these lines:
I’d like to speak
To the writer of my life
Tell him to change the story
I love the idea you pose, that there is a writer of our lives who controls what happens to us.
Your lines are very poetic and I love how you separate some of your words. It feels very lyrical.
Tell him to give me a girl
Give me actual love
Not just a broken family
This poem feels like it yearns very strongly for love and control. Control is something we all want and this poem does a great job at playing with that feeling of wanting to control what is uncontrollable. that is really beautiful
Sadly, I must face
The harshest of realities
The writer is god
And I likely won’t find love
For a few more years
I adore this ending so much! The writer is God, yes. What we have is not up to us. We cannot change some things that are meant to be unchangeable. I love you you bring time into this too. You don't say that you will never find love, you say that you wont find love for a few more years. This is a great ending. It isn't happy, it isn't sad, it is just reality.
Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement
Adding a bit of punctuation, like periods, can always be helpful so we can know where some of the sentences end and where new ones begin. but, this isn't necessary, just thought id mention it! I would love to see you add some metaphors too. comparing pain and longing and love to other things can really help add an extra emotional level to it!!
Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises
I loved the ending of this so much. Really, I love how it makes me feel. Learning to accept what cannot be changed it hard, but writing poems about it is a great place to start. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem <3
Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts
Thank you for posting this and a late welcome to YWS!
Your friend,
Ellie
Points: 10015
Reviews: 210
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