z

Young Writers Society



Imagine

by Feardser


Spoiler! :
Be kind - completely spur-of-the-moment, so it's probably not too good, and it may not seem to have any meaning!!


The leaves drift about on the floor,
beneath my open eyes.
I watch, silently, as the wind knocks them
to and fro, back and forth, across the autumn field.
I sit on a chair,
a bench that isn't there.
It doesn't need to be, not really,
not where I am.
I am safe here.
For I know what happens here,
because I can make it,
I can change it,
I can do whatever I want with it.
The leaves suddenly jump into the sky,
drifting high above me, though not as high as the clouds.
I smile - my own, secret smile,
the smile that only this reality sees.

The world shifts, changes beyond recognition,
until I sit once more upon a chair,
though it is real, this time,
actually here.
A small table, upon which my arms rest,
aching, tired, after a long hard day.
My friends from work sit beside me,
chatting along while we wait to be served.
I expect a waiter, a waitress, a shopkeep,
but nobody seems to be around.
Just a room, a building, full of people,
sitting, standing, waiting.

It changes once more, faster than before,
into a world I recognise as a friendly place -
at least to the one who created it -
it seems at peace, for now... will that change?
The sky is studded with stars,
blue, yellow, red, white, orange,
countless points of light, in a vast, unfathomable universe.
This is my universe,
my own creation,
my own world,
my own imagination.


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13 Reviews


Points: 1040
Reviews: 13

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Sat Apr 16, 2011 1:37 pm
WriterMajorInRomance wrote a review...



] good poem, :D tee-hee!
] honestly, it seemed a little slow-paced, but it's cool. You have been descriptive, I like the way you paint a picture through your words (that's what poetry is all about!) :D




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Points: 5107
Reviews: 100

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Tue Apr 12, 2011 5:43 am
NaRachel wrote a review...



I would never dream of being unkind:) it is a little random and i come out of it thinking hmm something about leaves and then a beautiful metaphor about how great imaginations are. So maybe the first part doesn't need to be so long? And perhaps more explanation but then again i didn't really closely analyze it and i only read it once so maybe the true meaning was there from the start. It kind of seems like you just tacked it on at the end but yes i understand that can happen when you write poetry at the spur of the moment. Despite all this i enjoyed it from start to finish and i didn't get bored which is good for me. Nice concept and well done :)





Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity.
— Charles Mingus