Young Writers Society

Hi EuphoriaFalls,

Mailice here with a short review!

This is definitely a short story I haven't read like this before. It has something magical and unknown about it, which I really enjoyed while reading it. It gave the reader this strange feeling of floating and not understanding this story directly. It's more like a sound that only the subconscious can perceive.

I like how you managed to do that and also create an atmosphere that is familiar and unfamiliar to the reader. With your sentence structure, which is always kept short, I also found it like being in the middle of reading a text from one' s school book, or a poem, a parable or an anecdote. It definitely gives off that vibe.

Even now, I'm still not really sure what the text is supposed to mean in its interpretation, and yet there's something that holds me in its spell, what you actually wanted to express.

As I mentioned earlier, your sentence structure is short. It's a great stylistic device, but sometimes (especially in the second big section) it feels a bit choppy, and I think you could have connected sentences a few times.

So she takes frequent walks instead of taking measurements which seem to no longer hold any meaning in world where the heavens have no order.

Some days she wears no shoes.

Nice short story.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Hmm....well this was a really interesting little story this one. It definitely wasn't what I was expecting judging by the title and well I'm definitely not disappointed. It was quite a fun story to read.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Her toga drags lightly over the wooden sidewalk. Her lantern is grasped before her, illuminating her steps.

The sun never fully rises in this place. For a whole season it might peak over the horizon before retreating for a long time again. The villagers once believed they could find a pattern and somehow measure the passing of time. Some time after they wondered, an astronomer wandered into the village. They believed it was providence, and set her to the task. The astronomer who lives in the observatory up on the hill toiled for what seemed to be years trying to find the answer, long past when everyone else had stop caring for one. She found no success in her endeavor. Time didn’t pass and no one grew old.

So she takes frequent walks instead of taking measurements which seem to no longer hold any meaning in world where the heavens have no order.

Some days she wears no shoes. She allows her toes to become numb from wet chill, the wood silently cracking beneath her feet as she glides through the dark world heel to toe.

Occasionally, she would find herself looking up wondering about what her purpose was in this place. She would stretch her hands up as she did when she was a child when she first dreamed of mapping the stars. Her fingertips would sink into blackness. Her back flexed comfortably as she imagined the sky pulling her in, swallowing her up in its vastness.

“What are you?” she whispered to the brilliance above.

At some point, her toes would leave the ground.

She would float for sometime without ever noticing anything,

And then she would descend once again.

Hello,

I love this story, it is one of those stories that really gets one thinking. The concept is incredibly intriguing, and the language used to describe it is exceptional. Some language that could be improved upon is when you write,

"Her lantern is grasped before her, illuminating her steps."

Makes it appear as something/someone else is holding her lantern before her. The rest of the story is very well written and leaves me wanting to know more, good job!

Hi, EuphoriaFalls!

First of all, I like this story. I would like to know more. Alright, let's dive into the review!

"Her lantern is grasped before her, illuminating her steps." Here it sounds like her lantern is held by someone or something else in front of her. Maybe you could try something like, "She grasps her lantern before her, illuminating her steps." Or, "She holds her lantern before her, illuminating her steps."

"At some point, her toes would leave the ground." This left me wondering if it was if she felt like she was drifting through the sky, or if she literally left the ground.

Once again, good story, I would love to hear more!

Follow your heart, and nothing can go wrong. (Concerning writing.)