Young Writers Society

It's pretty and touches a truly painful emotion, it reminds me of my mental state when I lost a best friend.

WOWZA! This is DEEP! I have been busy (master's degree + puppy + teaching career = no YSW!), but am back to this little sanctuary of writer's dreams. It has been several months since I made time to review work, and this is my first review back, but BOY AM I GLAD IT IS!

Let's break this down line by line:

1) !!!! This line/title is equally captivating as it is haunting. Stars are bright, celestial studded spurts in the sky that everyone has the pleasure of greeting each night if they look. However, smiles, depending upon their reasoning, may not be so. Given the lines that follow, this analogy, to me, signifies that the person being addressed here deserves a smile that lights up the night sky and they may not have experienced this in awhile, if at all.
2/3) Here, we find out why the person being addressed may not have a smile like stars. They have self-esteem issues that corrupt their ability to realize their shine.
4) This line threw me off a bit. First, it's italicized and I'd like to think that means something. Second, this line seems so self-reflective that I wonder if the person being addressed is the writer themselves, but the mystery behind both of these is marvelous. Good poetry keeps readers re-reading and coming back for new meaning. This definitely encapsulates that!
5-9) Oh, how I have swam in that ocean, and can relate to how once you start diving into those depths, it's hard to find the surface back out! Magnificently relatable, perfectly described, and brings the reader right into that sorrow.
10-12) Sleep is related to death here. Sleep is the temporary death of the wakeful and alive. The person who cries here is actually withering themselves into that ocean and drowning in it. They don't see how their "stars" are also diminishing within that.
13-16) I love the imagery. Silence has the capacity to be "loud." This may not be a concept to everyone, but I certainly understand this. The distance between the person crying and the writer (who may or may not be the same person) is immense and the silence between ricochets. It would be even more interesting if these are the same people. We can make ourselves the last one on our priority list, we can stiffen our own stars, and we can create our own oceans. I may be misinterpreting, but the beauty of good art is that it can be interpreted multiple ways. You've done that here!
17-20) Again, this could be two different individuals or the same person. They say we can never truly love until we love ourselves - to be your own best friend. This could be conceived as one in the same within one person or two separate. I absolutely adore the line "decapitates my exclamation marks."

You, my friend, have written a piece that is what truly deserves the stars! Here's one for you! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠔⠣⣔⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Wishing you well wherever you are in the world,
╔═.♥.══════╗
WiTH L<3 ~A
╚══════.♥.═╝

Yet another masterfully crafted piece! Every line hit just right, there's nothing I could say to criticize it (a common theme I've noticed in reviewing your work lol). You truly are an incredible poet ~

Nicely done!

Wow. I smell severely underrated writing with a touch of rose water!! This is beautifully articulated, as usual Ellie, I love it! The first stanza is bewitching as it is true that the grass is green. I love how short it is but almost everyone knows what it means by that one sentence:’ Because some people aren’t pretty.’
We all know what it feels like to be self-conscious and doubtful and experience self-hatred. It really cuts deep, even if you’re a really elegantly bewitching girl or a handsome boy.
The second and third stanzas are just as deep as the Northern Sea(I put these two together instead of separate points because they flow together well and seem closely linked rather than two separate points of brilliance)! I love how both of them state that the person worries so much about crying themselves to death and drowning in their own tears that they don’t realise how they’re really slowly dying inside like a rotten apple-beautiful and shiny on the outside with little to no blemishes and rotten and pity-able deep in its core.
The fourth stanza is short but bitter to taste. It’s a really clever description with many different meanings and interpretations. Wonderfully articulated. I really like that word-articulated. Sounds nice doesn’t it?
The last stanza really rounds up the whole poem like how you end your day with wonderful dessert. I really love it as it gives me whole pictures in my head and really makes me imagine the characters and the emotions and it’s just wow. You are insanely talented Ellie and I hope you never forget that.^^ Thank you for reading my rambling and have a good day or night writers!

Hello! This is Orabella, here with a review. ^^

Is every poem you write so beautifully heartbreaking? Because that's what it feels like! Gosh everything you write is just so poetic and it usually gets me close to breaking out in tears.

You deserve smiles like stars.

You’ll never be pretty.

Because some people aren’t pretty.

You are so caught up in the stream,

That you don’t see the ocean you’ve cried.

Your silence is so loud.

and decapitates my exclamation marks.

My best friend,

But only mine and never yours.

"Your silence is so loud.

I cover my ears,

Hiding from the noise.

What I would do to be your priority, again.

-

The loudness of your words,

Is isolating, and decapitates my exclamation marks.

My best friend,

But only mine and never yours."

I want to cry so bad. The crying that comes from the relief because I couldn't put my feelings into words and you did. This literally happened like, twenty minutes ago. I love this poem.

This is an incredibly sad and yet beautifully written poem.

I like how the end of the first stanza ends up being the start to the next one.

I also like how it speaks about things like not being pretty because some people truly aren't pretty. And that can be for a number of different reasons. One because not being pretty can also mean being rude and, or ugly. But in this case I'd like to think it's because it's okay to not be pretty. That doesn't mean they are undeserving of any love or care from other people.

I LOVE the fact that you wrote "But only mine and never yours" which is the poem you wrote before this one called.. "Always mine; never yours." Which makes me believe they are related to one another. Which also makes this more personal.

But perhaps I'm reading this wrong.. I have another idea though I may wait to write it. I hope you have a wonderful day, this was a beautiful read.

You deserve smiles like stars.

And I know you feel like

You’ll never be pretty.

Because some people aren’t pretty.

It's a very interesting intro

But your tears are a stream.

And maybe

You are so caught up in the stream,

That you don’t see the ocean you’ve cried.

This line is so beautiful

Your silence is so loud.

I cover my ears,

Hiding from the noise.

What I would do to be your priority, again.

The loudness of your words,

Is isolating, and decapitates my exclamation marks.

My best friend,

But only mine and never yours.

This is a really beautiful piece of poetry I love it so much