Hi, this is AkuRashomon. And I am here to give you a review or comment.
The story has a really good meaning, it is just that there are some areas you need to fix. Like your grammar and writing wise. In these areas, you can fix your grammar and expand the sentences into paragraphs to add more definition to your story. But this is good for a beginner, if you are one^^
But one day.
At summer time, when it was school break
Aza went to their provincial house.
And she met a lot of kids. Way Younger than her.
There they played everyday.
They played and acted as if they were at the school.
And Aza met her first students, students she calls her sisters and brothers, students she calls her own.
The ending is great and the story does remind me of how people can be that passionate in teaching and helping such children like Aza. It also reminds me of my teachers and my poem, Ano Ang Guro? (What Is A Teacher?). You might want to check it but it is in my native language, although I have added an English version. Cheers to you for writing this piece and welcome to YWS. Feel free to ask some questions about the site to the usernames with light green and dark green names.
- AkuRashomon
Points: 15961
Reviews: 233
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