Hey ConMansura!
Thanks for sharing this. My name is Elinor, and I thought I would drop by to give you a quick review. Firstly, I wasn't sure if you meant this to be in non-fiction rather than short story? It seems like the goal of this is to be an informative piece about this new technology, and you did a great job with that! It was clearly written and concise. I'm curious about where you want to share this too; a local paper, magazine, online? I don't need to know the answer, but I bring it up because it's something to keep in mind as you revise.
I think you can play around with the ordering of some of your paragraphs. To me, I'd start with the origin of the name, because that's really interesting to me. Maybe you could find a relevant story about Shazam that relates to this technology and use it as a segue. I'm also interested in your last paragraph, but it feels a little incomplete. It's awesome that Kazam has been a success in India, but what's their ultimate goal? Do they want to expand globally? Also, I'm not sure you need the part about the domain name. It's a nice tidbit but I don't think it's entirely relevant to the story of this company, or to me as a potential consumer.
Backtracking a bit:
Being the pandemic, with everyone basically limited to their home and computers there was also a reality check on how important it specifically is to definitely have a passive investment source of income on which people can rely, which specifically is quite significant.
I'm really interested in this, because for so many the pandemic was a time of economic hardship, but there are a lot of businesses that sprang up during it as well. But this is a run on sentence, and I think you can be a little bit more creative about how you present the problem and then introduce Kazam as a solution.
I think that's all I have for now! Nice job. Hope this helps, and keep writing!
Elinor
Points: 1630
Reviews: 1260
Donate