Hello, I'm Rain, so here is what I have to say:
Why do I do this to myself?
I'm causing myself #FF0000 ">my own pain. #FF0000 "><<I think you can remove this, it make the line akward sounding...
It's no one's fault except my own.
It was me that put myself here.
I think after this stanza, or somewhere, you need to say what it is that you are doing to yourself... Right now all we know is that you are depressed because of something you caused.
I looked into the mirror,
There stood the person to blame, #0000FF "><< These to lines are good, but also somewhat hackeneyed if you think about it... You see them everywhere in poetry... Maybe find a more origanal way to say this...
The person that had #FF0000 ">been behind it all, #FF0000 ">I think "caused" would work better here, the line is sort of akward the way it is now...
I'm the one who#FF0000 ">'s ruined my life. #FF0000 "><< The 's needs to be removed... You could also consider replacing "who" with "that"
I think you should add more to this, right now all there is is two stanza's telling us that you believe you ruined your life. Thats it. I think you should add in why you think that why, what you did to ruin your life, how it feels, use metaphors and similies and the works... That could make this a really great poem...
Sorry for the bad spelling, I don't have a spell check...
Hope this helps,
~Rain~
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