Hello, and thanks for sharing your story. One of the first things that is evident is that you have an interest in singing/music and in Japanese culture (perhaps you are Japanese yourself?)
The way the story opens seems to show that your main character has a pretty good, loving relationship with the other members of her household. The conversations and encouraging comments they share establish their interactions as affectionate. I did notice that their Japanese titles, okaasan and obaasan, I believe, were capitalized sometimes, but other times they began with lowercase letters. I am not sure if correct Japanese would have them capitalized or not, but I would just suggest that you go through and make sure it is either one way or the other so it's consistent throughout the whole piece.
Another of the thoughts that comes through distinctly is that the New Year's festival is a big deal. You painted a little bit of this picture by mentioning that everyone was singing and dancing, etc., plus the mention of competitions taking place. This is great, and to make it even better, I definitely suggest trying to expand these ideas by using more of the "show, don't tell" concept. Maybe you could go into more detail as to the specific sights, sounds, and smells of the environment. Think about describing the type of dance someone is performing, the genre of music being played, the taste of the food, the aroma from the food vendors, the sound of the busy environment, etc. This can be a technique that's hard to master, and many of us writers need to practice it, but it would definitely enhance your story! Right now, it is very direct in the way it tells us what happens, but more sensory details and descriptors would make it more immersive. It would also be improved by working in emotional details such as how certain things make the main character feel.
One thing that made this piece a little hard to read is the way the dialogue tags are formatted. Instead of putting things like "she said" on the next line, just add them right after the quotation marks at the end of a piece of dialogue. Again, this can be a tricky technique to get just right, because there are several things to remember about how to do dialogue tags correctly in all different kinds of instances, but your writing will benefit a lot from getting this technique down. It will make everything flow much more smoothly. Also, it reduces confusion regarding who is talking when.
It sounds like you have begun a story you really love, so again, thanks for sharing it with us! Your main character definitely has a distinct passion, which can take your story so many places. Improvement will come the more you write, edit, and learn. Keep up the good work!
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