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Young Writers Society



Snow, Weather, Winter

by Allisonx


(*There are periods between stanzas because I couldn't figure out any other way to separate them without the website automatically making it one huge poem.)
.
"White Epiphany"
.
All is quiet in the white desert
swirling, spinning sparkles
shimmering like glitter
dusting across the ground.
Silence is in the air.
.
I am a ghost, isolated from the
world as the snow surrounds me.
I am veiled, enveloped in this
shifting white world.
.
Those near me -- are far away.
The usual chatter and pitter-patter
are silenced in the blizzard.
I can see the others, but I cannot find them.
I know they are talking, walking,
but I cannot hear them.
We are all ghosts, blending in and
camouflaged by the heavy blinding snow.
.
I stop to listen to the world around me
and a haunting quiet fills the air.
Although cold, I feel invigorating warmth.
I feel comforted in the quiet;
I find inspiration in the power of the
blizzard’s silence.
.
In a place where I should feel alone,
the snow gives me company.
I am comforted.
.
Isolated in my world
surrounded by cold and quiet
yet alive and warmed by the
sense of power the world has offered
to show me.
.
The snow has found me
and in it, I have found myself.


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Points: 9682
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Fri Mar 12, 2010 1:26 pm
McMourning wrote a review...



I also think this is a beautiful piece.

Allisonx wrote:Those near me -- are far away.

This is probably my favourite line. It works to tell the story well, but I think some of the surrounding descriptions can be removed or reworked...You say that the chatter is silenced and sort of repeat that when you say that you cannot hear them talking.

I do think, though, that your descriptions work well throughout. Your poem is very descriptive, but it still tells a story, which is good. (I, for one, can't do both at once.)


--MM




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Points: 2422
Reviews: 9

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Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:39 am
davy89irox says...



This is a beautiful piece.
I like your use of alliteration, that really got my attention.
I like the progression of your poem, like how its so bleak & depressed than you see the silver lining and in it who you are.
you are a great poet.





Patience is the strength of the weak, impatience is the weakness of the strong.
— Immanuel Kant, Philosopher