z

Young Writers Society


16+ Mature Content

box of colors

by Via


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for mature content.

The lush of the green trees
woosh around my wrinkled hands.
These are new; the deep grey
in the creases of my palms
reminds me that my youth has faded--
I couldn't cheat it after all.

I dip a toe into the blue waters below me,
listening to the waterfall as it
spills into the pool with a gush of white.

How different of a place am I living
than I was this time last year?

It's the same house,
it's the same kids,
it's the same furniture, yard, and dog.
But, it's a very different me.

I lost track of the coolness in the pool
where my toes grew colder and colder.
Pulling them out to find they have turned
a deeper purple in the chill.

A deep purple that isn't a bruise,
Because this isn't a year ago.

Bright yellow light dances through the leaves
from the sun above,
warmth hitting my skin in spurts.
I close my eyes and tilt my head back,
relishing in the heat,
the bottom of my dress hanging in such a way
that it sinks into the water.

I was sinking,
farther and farther.
There was almost no coming back up.
But that was in the city,
that was in last year;
here, in the forest, I'm an olympic swimmer.

Eventually I will have to go back,
rejoin the dull hues of regular life
with very little variance or divergence.

But, I am still not the same.
I am purple.
I am orange.
I am green.

I am a combination of vibrancy.
Where there once was only black,
I stand in a mixture of lives,
glistening in the dark.

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63 Reviews

Points: 5274
Reviews: 63

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Sat May 11, 2024 4:22 am
Moonlily wrote a review...



Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in a quick review. Overall, I do find this to be a very compelling piece. However, I do feel since this possibly hints to some dark themes perhaps you should add some trigger warnings to let other readers know. If I am misinterpreting the themes then my apologies and you by no means have to listen.

Now as for the work itself, I enjoyed the message and a lot of the prose. To me, the whole bit about the dress stands out as both hauntingly grim and beautiful. I also deeply enjoyed the detail put into the hands as it sets up the feeling of someone looking back at their more naive self.

With that being said I do feel there is one line that could be somewhat tweaked. " slams into the pool in a gush of white. "Although there is nothing wrong with it the use of both in and into with not much between it feels a bit awkward to me. You could mess around but the quick fix I came up with is something like" slams into the pool with a gush of white."

Regardless, keep writing, drink water and good luck in life!




Via says...


Hi! You're right, I changed the rating! I also changed that line. I was glad you brought it up actually because I felt like "slams" was such a harsh word to use when everything else around was so serene so I needed to change it anyway!



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5 Reviews

Points: 360
Reviews: 5

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Fri May 10, 2024 6:22 pm
ClearNights wrote a review...



I really enjoyed reading your poem. Especially the ending really interested me/captivated me, as it was kind of relatable, the wanting to escape from regular life. I really liked your use of descriptive words as it helped me understand what the poem meant. Overall, really great poem in my opinion! I'd love to read more of your works :).





There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.
— Bram Stoker