Young Writers Society

Hello there, Raven! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the possessed S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - This is a haiku on characters from your story “The Forsaken Race”, about what they’re all like.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - This is fine, I didn’t see anything to edit.

Chocolate Bar - I may not know who the characters are, but I like how you used animals to relate to their personalities. It adds extra details into how they’re like and gives an idea as to who they are.

Closing Graham Cracker - A haiku that would work well as an introduction to your story, I enjoyed reading this, with how the characters seem to come to life through words.

I wish you an amazing day/night! ^v^

This poem is awesome. You have great poetry skills.
I don't know anything about 'The Forsaken Race' but the way you described the happy and the dark side of an animal's life is incredible.
Poetry is always a way to show your inner feelings in words.
Nice work, keep it up.
Waiting for Collection II.

I feel like this is relating to Leightning.

His ferociousness is clear to many as he embodied a true demon that even Timbur feared, when it was neccesary.

He is kind to his family, bickering, and making games, but showing compassion.

He shows kindness to Kita, by allowing her to prosper and learn, even if she's a sylph.

He is quite compassionate, but menacing too.