Young Writers Society

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Chapter 2: The Name

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If you want to read Chapter 1, click on this link (or copy paste it): http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/work.php?id=11...

Hey guys, if you do not want to read the author’s note then just skip right to the story down below. I really liked the reviews given for Chapter 1, and I’m striving to increase production. I really want my stories to make a BIG impact into YWS, and I really hope you guys help!

I also want to keep my rough copies as I would probably hate myself if I edited them. Do not worry, I’ll make a final copy soon enough, I’ll just leave the rough copy there.

Also, I do not want SO MUCH PRAISE, PRAISE, AND PRAISE. I understand you like the story, you may put that there, but to be honest, I prefer more helpful reviews. I mean, so far, I haven’t received any reviews that gave me how much praise that I said, but it’s just for future reference.

Another thing, priorities for what you should put for reviews.

1. How the story is going, is it too much plot, too much characters, etc
2. Character development, is there any character development. Like anything that could help the characters future self. I mean it doesn’t have to be all of the chapters, but I think it should be like every 5-10 or so.
3. Actions of the characters, does it fit the character, or not.
4. Grammatical mistakes
5. Comments and what not you think of the story.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FOLLOW THIS LIST AS IT IS WHAT I PREFER YOU WRITE IT IN THAT ORDER.

Another thing, my irl life is really hard and I who knows when I might be grounded. My parents are pretty strict with studies even though it’s summer, but I’ll try my best NOT to get grounded.

Anyways, ON WITH THE STORY: D

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It was dawn already.

“Man,” I thought, “If I were to save the guy, wouldn’t he just double cross me, just like any other criminal?”

I was right in front of the execution building, but I stopped and looked at it. Thinking, I was not sure whether or not I should do it. The man could really help guide me, but he is a criminal, and he could simply escape and just leave me in the dust and have policemen chase me.

Also, another thing was if my sword was enough to handle the policemen. What if the guy with the crossbow shot me? I would probably end up with the man.

I guess it’s ever now or never. I decided to go to the execution room for one reason and the reason stood in my head. The reason was because if I did not save the man, I would probably have no help from anyone else. Even if the man were to double cross me, at least when I die, I have something good to say or laugh about.

I drew my sword and opened the door with extreme caution. I scanned the room to see if there were any hidden guards, but I guess there were not. The building interior had looked something in the middle of a factory and an abandoned hospital. It had a very harsh smelled like rotten fish.

“If there are no guards,” I thought, “Then they must be preparing the execution.”

I quickly dashed with swift feet towards a room. I looked inside, only to see many bones of the previous lives slain. The sight had terrified me, and made my muscles tighten. I nearly vomited due to the cruel sight.

I slowly walked room to room, only to see more bones. I nearly lost my consciousness, when I heard policemen laughing.

“Man,” the policeman said, “Those ‘citizens’ are really dumb!”

“Haha,” the other policeman laughed, “I mean they don’t even know that we’re all part of the dark organization!”

Dark organization? Now that’s something interesting to hear. I drew my sword and slowly went closer towards them.

Suddenly, the policeman turned his head and the other one followed his head immediately.

“Uhh,” I said, “Hello, how are you-.”

I did not get to finish because one of them drew a gun and pointed it into the direction of my numbskull of a head.

“Who are you?” the policeman with a gun asked.

“A person,” I replied.

The policeman seemed annoying and pushed the trigger.

However, everything around me went in slow motion, even the bullet itself. I thought I was dead, until I realized that I was not in slow motion. It was like I was deeply focused on my surroundings.

I dashed towards the back of the men with incredible speed, they still thought I was still at their aim, and everything went back to normal speed. I had both my swords drawn.

“Where did he go?” the policemen asked.

“I don’t know,” the other replied.

That’s when I struck them both in the neck and they both fell unconscious. I probably should’ve hidden them, but it would take much time.

I sprinted as fast as I can, searching for the execution room.

I finally came across a room with a picture of a skull with a sword through it.

“I guess this is it,” I thought for a moment, “There’s no turning back.”

I opened the door and came across at least thirty different faces looking at me. I saw the thief’s face right there the floor, half naked with only pants.

“I’m screwed,” I said allowed.

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“That was a good job out there, kid,” the thief said sarcastically, while rolling his eyes.

“Well how was I supposed to know that there were that many people in an execution room?”

“Uh, five star criminal here, known to have escaped the execution room so many times, you can’t even count them?”

I sighed. I guess this is it. I lost my only chance of having a guide and blew it. Hard. Here I am in a cell locked with this criminal that takes stuff.

The thief sighed. “At least before you die,” he said, “tell me your name.”

I thought I would’ve forgotten it because of my amnesia, but the name popped up into my head real fast.

“Sapphire,” I said still thinking, “Sapphire Eternal.”