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Young Writers Society


I Love You Poem (2)



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Fri Apr 22, 2005 2:01 am
Caligula's Launderette says...



this is the second in a series of I Love You poems. This one is from the point of view of Dan about Maria(pronounced Mariah), this is in league with my short story Walk with me. If anyone has any ideas on title send me a line.

cheers CL

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I love you for all the life you have not yet lived
I love you for all the passion in which I melt
For the scent of jasmine and the tang of orange peel
For the crescent moon and for rosy cheeks
For the sweet nothings you whisper in my ear when we’re alone
I love to love
I love you for all the people I do not love
Because I am so wrapped up in you—who better to see myself through than
Your precious looking glass
Without you I see nothing but wasted time and folly
Between the lines of apathy and empathy
There have been times I wished to kill my thoughts of you
For I have not been able to break though and breach the lust you’ve brought
I’ve had to learn life page by page
How one forgets
That you are not alone
I love you for your innocence, which will never be mine
For art
I love you against all conformity over which I have no such power
For every stroke and line my brushes make
You think you are nonsense but you are cause and effect
You are the peaceful moments in which I know who I am
Fraser: Stop stealing the blanket.
[Diefenbaker whines]
Fraser: You're an Arctic Wolf, for God's sake.
(Due South)

Hatter: Do I need a reason to help a pretty girl in a very wet dress? (Alice)

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Sat May 07, 2005 4:42 am
Sam says...



This is the exact same poem as I Love You Poem (1). Not good...these are two completely different characters, treat them as such. They are sure as heck not going to sound exactly the same.

I'd go for a title such as 'Mariah', because the current one...let's just think for a moment about what I'm going to say...
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  





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Sat May 07, 2005 7:56 am
Liz says...



I like it...but it does seem a bit bland.
purple sneakers
  








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