Young Writers Society

meaningless are
the letters of our sentences clinging to my necklace,
tangled with mother's pearls, borrowed.

like raindrops from heaven, unheard,
the hovering flickering fireflies carry
your words on their illuminated bodies,
undefined.

on each blade of freshly cut grass
the phrase hangs,
upside down in the warm summer
air
somewhere amongst those biting black bugs
picking at my skin,
stinging me above
my earings
are the words,
unwritten.

and they fall - those meaningless letters -
cling to my necklace, tangled to my mother's pearls,
borrow the space on my chest
nearest to my heart -
yours.

Ahiya
Nice poem firstly Easy to read and i'm tired! So simple and sweet, but personal by bringing in your mothers pearls mentioned. I like how its a plain topic twirled around images of nature bringing it to life. Thats good writting if nothing else. But tell me what is the reason behind the ''borrow''??

like raindrops from heaven, unheard,the hovering flickering fireflies carry your words on their illuminated bodies,undefined.

My Favourite part.
I've never read any of your work before I'll look into it. I know this probably hasn't been any help at all i just wanted to say I liked your poem really!
Katie

This is nice. I like your imagery here and could see them in my head. Is the lack of capitalization a stylistic choice? The one thing I had a compliant about was that there didn't seem to be a connection between your metaphors and similes. Like in these stanzas for example,

meaningless are
the letters of our sentences clinging to my necklace,
tangled with mother's pearls, borrowed.

like raindrops from heaven, unheard,
the hovering flickering fireflies carry
your words on their illuminated bodies,
undefined.

I feel like the line in bold would have gone better with the first stanza instead of putting it with the second. You lost me a little when your words turned from being raindrops into being carried on bugs. I was imagining words dripping from your necklace first and then all of a sudden that image was gone and the words were on the backs of fireflies. Perhaps, you could add a transitory image like having the word raindrops fall and turn back into actual words which would then be carried on the fireflies' backs. Otherwise, I liked this. Good job! Let me know if you want clarification on anything.