"I..." She was being rude. It wasn't polite to decline peoples' kindness. And gods knew that the last thing she needed was to make them hate her even more by being an ungrateful bitch. But the very thought of food turned her stomach. "... tea might be nice."
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
Tomhas wasn't sure she actually wanted tea, but he nodded. "Okay." He stood still, torn between suggesting they use her gift from Sera or finding a servant to make some tea for them.
"The artist deals with what cannot be said in words. The artist whose medium is fiction does this in words. The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words." --Ursula K. Le Guin
She nodded, too. The thought of going down to the kitchen exhausted her even more than she already was. Worse yet, she wasn't sure she'd have the strength to come back upstairs if she went all the way down there. And she'd rather die than have to ask Tomhas to carry her back up the stairs.
Then again, she was having a disturbingly strong desire to die as it was.
There was so much tension between them. She didn't like it. It felt like they were both different people now. That wasn't true -- it was just her back to being a different person. The assassins had turned her back into Kyber. Maybe she should just stay that way.
She couldn't handle it. "Are you okay?"
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
Tomhas had been trying to work up the courage to ask her the same question, so he was taken aback when she was the first to ask. He definitely, definitely wasn't okay, but Ky needed him to be. He was her dad, now, and dads didn't trauma dump on their daughters. Not good ones, anyway. "Yeah." He nodded. "I mean, I'll be more okay if you're okay, but if you're not then I want to help."
"The artist deals with what cannot be said in words. The artist whose medium is fiction does this in words. The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words." --Ursula K. Le Guin
"I'm fine," she murmured. Gods, he was so decent. Wanting to help her even now that she'd ruined his entire life. She didn't deserve him. She never had and she never would. "Thank you."
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"You're sure?" he asked again, knowing the answer. "Ky, if you need to talk... " He needed to discuss some things with her, but he needed to know she was in a state to handle a discussion.
"The artist deals with what cannot be said in words. The artist whose medium is fiction does this in words. The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words." --Ursula K. Le Guin
"I mean..." She tried a smile, but it looked pained if anything. "I'm not sure I have anything to say. Other than I'm sorry. And I know that doesn't come anywhere close to meaning anything at all, after all that."
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"You don't need to apologize." It came out sharper than he had intended, and he tried to sound softer afterward. "It wasn't your fault, Ky. None of this is your fault. If anything, it's mine for not guarding you well enough, for not keeping the ceremony in the walls of the Keep."
"The artist deals with what cannot be said in words. The artist whose medium is fiction does this in words. The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words." --Ursula K. Le Guin
“It wasn’t your fault.” She shook her head, but that made her lightheaded, so she leaned heavier against the wall. “I went into the village yesterday. It easily could have happened then.” Maybe that would have been better. Then she wouldn’t have this guilt hanging over her. “It’s just… wildly unfortunate timing all around.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"We can agree on that last bit." Tomhas glanced back the way he'd come, wondering if he ought to go get the tea. "I feel like this place isn't secure enough to protect you, now..."
"The artist deals with what cannot be said in words. The artist whose medium is fiction does this in words. The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words." --Ursula K. Le Guin
Ky took a deep breath, then let it out. How was she even supposed to respond to that? It’d probably worry him to know how much she wanted to just crawl in a hole to die. And she didn’t want to place that worry upon him.
“I’m more worried that they’ll hurt one of you, honestly,” Ky said. “I’m afraid if you keep protecting me then they might… I don’t know what they’d do. I don’t want them targeting you to retaliate that you’re not letting them have me.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"Are there more coming?" he asked. That would be an important factor to consider. Especially if he wanted to move the family to Serpent Keep for a little while.
"The artist deals with what cannot be said in words. The artist whose medium is fiction does this in words. The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words." --Ursula K. Le Guin
“I don’t know.” She sighed, frustrated, and rubbed her face. “He wouldn’t tell me specifics, obviously. I’d expected it to be either Isya — but I know it’s not him now — or Pratik. I doubt Pratik would have been 4th choice, but I don’t know… maybe Aleth built redundancy into it… or maybe he knew there wasn’t any chance at all Tadaaki and I could have fended off three assassins and so figured it was good enough. I… I don’t know.”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
"If you can give me the location of his home, of any of his information, I'll have people sent out to look. Gaius will, too." Tomhas looked down. "I want you and the kids to be safe."
"The artist deals with what cannot be said in words. The artist whose medium is fiction does this in words. The novelist says in words what cannot be said in words." --Ursula K. Le Guin
Ky nodded, then realized he wasn’t looking. She wanted his kids to be safe, too. And him. And Anneke. And she didn’t believe they ever would be while she was still alive. But that was yet another opinion she needed to keep to herself. “I don’t think he has a home — at least, if he does, I doubt anyone knows where it is. I certainly don’t. But I can describe how he looks, if that would be helpful?”
"u and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws" - Atticus "From the fish mother to the fish death god." - lehmanf "A fish stole my identity. I blame shady" - Omni [they/he]
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