Have you heard the news? Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics! Yay Canada! But now it seems that people all over the world have started to pay more attention to us in the great white north. I got this stuff from an E-mail my mom sent me. Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
These are real questions from real people from real countries:
(If you don't want to bother reading this then just skip down to the last paragraph.)
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto, can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only 4000 miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: it is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your north... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunters/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Most of us Canadians think we're smarter than the rest of the world, kinda like how French people think they're better than everyone else. Well, given the examples of these questions and the intelligence of the people who sent them, can you really blame us?
For those of you(Americans) who have read this post and would still like to know more about Canada, here's some info I've put together to ease your collective minds:
95% of Canada only gets 1 month of summer every year and 11 months of winter caused by blizzards that closely resemble hurricanes. In those parts of Canada the only vehicle known to man is the dog sled and all our houses are made out of snow. The other 5% of Canada has regular seasons. Our prim-minister is a giant floating green head that is controlled by a man hiding behind a curtain, all of our roads are made out of bricks and painted yellow, our national animal is the flying monkey, and finally the word "gullible" is not listed in any Canadian dictionaries.
In other news the sky is blue, and I will be starting a project in YWS in three days. I sent Nate a PM telling him my idea but he hasn't gotten back to me on it yet. I asked for him to grant me permission to make some sort of locked thread, possible a usergroup of some kind, for this project. If he doesn't get back to me on it in the next three days I'm going to start it in the "Randomness" forum. This is where you guys come in. My project will be a Q & A thing where you, the members of YWS, send me, Dynamo the Great, PMs on questions you want me to answer. It will be called "Q & A with Dynamo the Great!" You ask me questions and I answer them on this thread. They can be about anything; video games, pop culture, love advice, even just some random questions that make no sense. This will be for the sake of comedy so don't expect any real, usable answers. I'm telling you all ahead of time so you can start sending me questions for when I start my project.
HA!
Gender:
Points: 4119
Reviews: 103