Young Writers Society

Being homeschooled I get to see things that repeatedly confuse me. I frequently wonder whether some of these actions are simply stupid (like dressing in baggy jeans which make you look fat) or if they are actually a public fashion. I witnessed something very startling.

I saw a guy who was walking with a girl who had her arms wrapped loosely around his neck. It was unbelievable! I was aghast at the scene. I quickly began to rationalize what was going on. The first thing that occurred to me might be that they are in love, but I quickly discarded that. She wouldn't be trying to strangle him if she were in love with him.

So I came up with another solution: she was trying to strangle him to death. I disgarded that solution as well. She was walking with him, rather than trying to strangle him. Which lead me to my next observation: A sleeper hold! Of course it had to have been that, what else could it be?

The only other thing it could have been is if the two had had an unfortunate connection as a result of a lightning strike, which I promptly discarded as being altogether stupid. Being connected was stupid, but with if she were dependant on him? To which I then began to suspect her of being a leech. This was also bad, because a leech needs to have contact with the skin to suck the blood out of it's host, but the guy seemed to not notice a sucking motion, nor did he appear faint from blood loss. So I immediately ruled that option out for a more interesting one: she was a vampire.

The problem with this was that they were both fully exposed to the sun which would instantly destroy a vampire. So now I am at a loss. I ask anyone to please give me a logical explanation for what I have observed.

If this is true, then it completely belongs in randomness. However, if this is supposed to be a real story, then it was still the most random thing I have ever read.

Because I just noticed the big, bold letters at the top of the screen that say NONFICTION, I will promptly attempt to answer your question.

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I got nothing.

Comedy is hardly fiction.

Yes, these baggy pants have sadly become a fashion among certain circles. Some people at the high school I went to wore them so that the waist was below their butt and it looks like they have no knees. But I think one of the reasons that started was because baggy pants are comfortable. And don't worry about not understanding teens. I went to high school and I don't get most of them.

Some of them look like confused penguins!

Comedy is hardly fiction, but you did something which you should be slashed on your head for and beaten with a very large stick. Brutally beaten that is.

So now I am at a loss. I ask anyone to please give me a logical explanation for what I have observed. Since I have seen this problem, I have been unable to sleep for more than nine hours and eat no more than three meals a day, it distresses me so. I am available at all hours of the day, night, except from 1 PM to 12:59 PM.

This is almost direct plagiarism to a letter Lewis Carroll wrote to a young friend when he challenged him to figure out an algebra problem. This is what Lewis Carroll wrote to conclude his letter:

Ever since this painful fact has been forced upon me, I have not slept more than 8 hours a night, and have not been able to eat more than 3 meals a day.

I trust you will pity me and will kindly explain the difficulty.

Do not do this.

Snoink, those were very serious errors, which I will remedy quickly.

Darn, now I actually have to be creative with my sarcasm.

LOL.

A hint: for comedy, nobody can go wrong with the Bill Cosby approach. Basically, elaborate on the story until it sounds absolutely ridiculous. This is hard to achieve, but the result can be very very funny. You started trying to do this, but you didn't achieve it since you forgot the purpose of this little piece of writing. That's why you tried to do that little comedy thing from Lewis Carroll; you wanted to make it sound funny, but you forgot your point so you used unoriginal means to do that.

That's another thing you should be careful of. Timing is everything, and you shouldn't forget your point! There are places where you can get side-tracked from it (i.e. a novel) but when you're writing something comedic, remember, to the point and briefly is always better than wandering the expanse of the globe to make someone laugh.

um...i was slightly confused with this...it was......interesting.....

That was very .... not expected.
I am being tormented in this very moment to write a comment on this, giving you an answer. I know I don't have to. But this just can't pass by unnoticed.
and after finding it impossible to come up with an explanation, I feel stupid.

" Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. "
- Elbert Hubbard