My life sucked. My grandpa had just died and now my unborn nephew was due to be born and his life was also to be taken. He had
annensephaly, a rare disease where a baby is born with no brain. The ordeal was hard for my whole family and thinking back on it makes
my hands tremble and my stomach queasy with sadness. I live with my fifty year old parents and my grandma. My beloved siblings go to
a college four hours away from where I live, so all the things that make me happy have been torn away from me. My parents both work
leaving me mostly to fend for myself. Before, when my sister lived at home, things where better. My mom didn't work and she had plenty
of time for us. But when my sister left for school, we had 4 people in college, and my dad was paying for all of them. Finacially we where
going downward. Luckily my mom had recieved her degree in teaching and whoopdy doo for her, she got to go bring bacon while I had to
figure out how to grow up by myself. It was as if the band between us had snapped and I was falling. The sad part is...she didn't look
back. She didn't even try to help me, or even tie the rope.
Anyway, to make a long story short, things where hard. I was, of course, willing to change and adjust, but I never really did. My
parents where never really there either. My dad watched TV almost all the time, and my mom was too busy with her students. I missed
them being there. They used to give me chores, hang my good grades up on the fridge, tell me they loved me. They even used to do
stuff with me. Now theres nothing there. And believe it or not I actually miss the chores. I feel so alone, and I haven't seen my siblings
for so long its as if they're dead to me. I don't believe my parents dislike me. I just think they don't care. They're too old. Usually, at this
age, parents are going on cruises or buying cabins or something. Not still taking care of a cruddy teenager. Even though this neglect still
goes on now...I don't have the heart to tell them how I feel. They've worked so hard just to keep the family going...
Now these past couple of weeks I've been going to the library every saturday. I never knew my life could be so fullfilling. I never new
that there was so much time I could take up with a book. My life started to improve, and things started looking upward. I'd get all
different kinds of books. Historical Fiction, Fiction, Science Fiction, Fantasy and many more. It was as if a whole new world was opened
and I was running through it at full speed with a smile on my face. Just yesterday my dad found a fantasy book that I'd gotten from the
library. My dad's not too fond of fantasy and he's told me countless times that he disapproves of my interest in it. We'd spend hours
arguing over it. He finds it dangerous. That its roots are evil and that he can see its affecting me. (well how would he frikin know what
affects me? He spends hours a day watching flippin TV!). Well last night he said that he doesn't want to ever see it in his house ever
again. He "forbids" me or anybody else that lives in this house to bring any fantasy book or movie into this vacinity ever...again. Of
course, being the "rebelious teenager" I am, I'm not going to follow this rule. For one, I don't agree with it. And two, I will not be scared
of him. My father doesn't beat me, but he thrives on intimidation and fear. I will not give into that.
My mom has been trying to smooth things over. She's trying to get me to see his point of view. Gag. She said that she too was
concerned with the amount of fantasy I read. I told her its stupid that this one book should cause such an uproar when I HAD been
getting different books besides fantasy. I said I was pissed off because they only noticed me when I screwed up. When I did somthing
right they didn't even give it a second thought. But when I messed up, they where right there telling me I did so.
I don't really know the point of this post, only that I have no one else in the whole world who will listen or who cares. I'm not telling
anybody that they have to read this, or even repspond to it. I'm only posting it because I need to unload it. I want so badly to be rid of it
all. I wish so badly that I could have a loving and nurturing relationship with my parents. I wish my siblings where here. I wish my friends
cared. I wish I cared.
-Daria_TV
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