Young Writers Society

here's a teaser page for my manga "Doki Doki Moon"!

How is it? I realize now that his leg is a little bit too skinny, and I'll fix that when it is final. My goal is to finish the prologue by the end of december! I know, but a lot of stuff is happening, and my friend hasn't given me back all of my character layouts yet. SO!!!!!! I can just hope for the best; however I did manage to work this piece on paper! ENJOY! >_<

Uh.. I really don't like saying this, but i think that needs to go back to the drawing board. Nothing against you're skill level at drawing, (that was way better then anything I could've come up with) but it needs some seroius work.For example, hair covering the face might be easier, but it's not good looking.

I can understand. I still have a long way to go. So...I need to spend more time on my drawings. Since this was pretty much one day's worth of work (like at most 3 hours.) It'll be much better, once I get some more action drawings on paper. I just wanted to get other's opinions, since I am very opened minded (Also I didn't really like it either). Most of all I wanted an opinion of a person I don't know, since it'll most likely be the truth. Thanks ^_^

The hair is seriously off. It's like he's wearing a towel over his head. Also, from my experiences with physics, the torso won't go off at an angle like when a guy's sliced in half. But seriously, can such a puny guy chop a guy in half with such a thin-looking sword?

I don' t think so.

Andy.

The hair is seriously off. It's like he's wearing a towel over his head

Its a hoody. Now that I look again, it does look like a towel (lol)

Also, from my experiences with physics, the torso won't go off at an angle like when a guy's sliced in half. But seriously, can such a puny guy chop a guy in half with such a thin-looking sword?

I don' t think so.

Your right with the angle. I need to practive that >_> Also you see one is a robot and another is an android. I also need to improve on my swords. v_V


thanks for the comment ^_^

The proportion's off...that's all I can really think of. The body is too small for the head, and yes, the limbs are too skinny.

Here is a FANTASTIC website that will explain thoroughly manga/anime proportions. I highly recommend it: http://www.mangatutorials.com/

It will help you on proper body proportion, even details like clothes and weapons.
I visit this site a lot myself, and have improved tenfold, trust me.

Keep practicing!

oh! I've seen that before ^_^ Yeah, I really need to work on body proportions. I won't give up! ^_^

Oh! That was supposed to be hair?! Lol. I'm sorry but I thought that it was some kind os hood or something. Anyway, it's good for a few hours work, but it's not very realistic. (I don't know, is realistic your style?) Needs work!!!

Oh! That was supposed to be hair?! Lol. I'm sorry but I thought that it was some kind os hood or something. Anyway, it's good for a few hours work, but it's not very realistic. (I don't know, is realistic your style?) Needs work!!!

Oh! That was supposed to be hair?! Lol. I'm sorry but I thought that it was some kind os hood or something. Anyway, it's good for a few hours work, but it's not very realistic. (I don't know, is realistic your style?) Needs work!!!

no the guy has a hood up, no hair is showing on his.

Praise first!
1. You showed the movement of the sword really well.
2. Is that blood on the killer's face? Cool!

Critique:
1. The towel/hood is just weird
2. The guy with the sword's arm is literally coming out of his shoulder.
3. The limbs are verrrry skinny

Overall good drawing!
It took you three hours? Jeez.