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Snipits from your story.



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Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:45 am
myfreindsavamp says...



It doesn't have to be spell checked ar anything. Just tell us what you think is the bast part so far.

(Mine)*

*I'm pretty far and a character just died..* *Sad* :(

I looked down on Jack and found lifeless eyes staring up at me from blue oceans. The ocean always stole your heart away. “Jack…” I bent my head over him and cryed some more.
__________
“Miss.” I heard someone ask from a distance. “You can let go of him now.” Thin fingers pried at my hands and I let them. They were my mom’s. I felt the cold body of a dead Jack leave me as I sat there in a nothingness.
“Jessica. Come on, hunny. We’re going home.” I felt hands pick me up and help me to a car as far as I could tell. I felt bumps and was jolted up and down. I felt one set of eyes on me. Jessie. After while I broke from my state and stared back at Jessie with a fake smile.
“I’m fine, Buddy. I’m fine,” I tried reassuring. He didn’t believe me, but turned in his seat to look out at the darkness of the night.
Last edited by myfreindsavamp on Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
We've all been broken in some way. It's just how we express it that makes us dffrent form eachother.

“This precious book of love, this unbound lover,
To beautify him only lacks a cover.”
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Mon Nov 03, 2008 12:56 am
PenguinAttack says...



Awww. Characters dying is so NaNo. ^^

I've got nothing particularly awesome, but I like this passage a little more than others.

Bare Bones wrote: Viola Jane Marigold was an odd name. Viola’s parents had no reason for the decision; neither played anything remotely musical, and they both hated Austen. Yet, on the moment of her naming, she had been christened Viola Jane Marigold. Perhaps, had either parent understood the outrageously painful experiences that one went through with such a name, they would not have thought of it at all. Viola doubted it; her parents were the kind not to care.


*Hearts* Le Penguin.
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Tue Nov 04, 2008 7:30 pm
miyaviloves says...



I have a character that will die too! But not yet, either way she deserves to die she is horrid. This is just a random passage:

Isaac climbed the stairs warily, his fingers gently intertwining with Lara’s. He looked back at her for a split second. What was he doing? Was this kind of revenge that he had planned? Cecilia would never even know that he had been with her. Maybe that was what motivated him. Lara was beautiful. Not like Cecilia, but she was beautiful in her own right. Cecilia. Was she really that beautiful? Just lately her skin appeared to be blemishing more than ever before, wrinkles enveloping her forehead when she smiled. The smile false. He scowled at the thought of her. At the top of the stairs he pulled Lara into his arms, trailing kisses down her tanned neck. She tasted of the autumn, crisp…decay. He devoured the rotten taste, as she was willing to sleep in his bed, fall into the cold winter he was offering to her. She would freeze in his tangled sheets, the cold shoulder of deceit.


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Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:46 pm
Sachiko says...



This is my favorite part so far:

“Aw, poor baby,” Vance smirked at her. “You just don’t want anyone to think you’re desperate.” He leaned in close to her face. “But, you never know. Maybe some poor blind soul will come along one day,” He leaned even closer and whispered in her ear, “And make you fall head over heels in love.”


XD He's such a mean person. :P
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Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:55 pm
Angel of Death says...



Ooh Vance sounds like a real great character. I like that scene as well. Can't wait to read.

~Angel

I'll be posting my favorite soon as I write it.
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.
  





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Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:26 am
The-Phantoms-Thorne says...



I could share Hyde's first kill, but it's a bit horrific and twisted. However...

As the three men disappeared out of the street, Jekyll awoke in darkness. Right in front of him stood the cage, the bars weakened from his last touch. From behind the barrier, the monster looked at him pityingly.

They hurt you... they hurt me. We cannot allow this.

“I can't let you out. I won't do it. Even if I wanted to, I destroyed the rest of the formula.”

You don't need the formula. You never did. Open the gate.

“No... I can't...”

Henry... set me free. I will seek revenge on them. You aren't to blame. There were too many and you are weak, after all.

“No, Edward... I won't allow it...”

Just one touch...

Henry's hand reached out of its own accord. The monster bobbed its head up and down in enthusiastic approval.

Yes... that's it... let the animal in you run free...

His fingertips touched the cold iron and the metal sizzled, as if it were being superheated. It began to melt under his touch, something that caused Jekyll to gasp. As the bars fell away, the monster drew itself up to his full height and stalked past its weary alter-ego, paused, then turned around and smiled.

It's so easy, isn't it Henry? Giving in to your dark side...

On the street, the unconscious Jekyll's body shuddered violently for a moment, rippling tremors traveling over his skin like tiny waves reaching the shoreline, then stopped. The hair on his pallid arms, now visible through the rips created while he was being beaten, fell out onto the cold stones and dissipated on the wind. His pale skin began to split and tear, the muscles underneath swelling to nearly three times their original size. The flimsy, rubbery skin peeled back to reveal a waxen texture underneath, vaporising into black dust as it fell away. As Henry shed his skin, his body doubled in volume, splitting his clothing at the seams. The wet, dark hair that covered his head slid from his skull and melted into the puddle around his head.

The horrific transformation took place in under three minutes. Still unconscious, no-one who knew Dr. Henry Jekyll intimately would have recognised the broken man laying in the puddle in the alley. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open with a start. Vibrant green eyes the colour of newly-cut grass blinked quickly and peered out at the world.

“Well, this is the oddest angle I've seen London at, I must confess,” Edward Hyde purred, spluttering in the rank water. He moved swiftly to his feet, stretching and flexing his muscles experimentally, drawing himself up to his full height.

“New body, that's interesting,” he murmured, then stopped. The clothes Jekyll had been wearing were falling from his body and he stood, nearly naked, in the middle of the street.

“Hmm, problem.”

A rude, loud laugh echoed around him and Hyde remembered. Remembered what the muggers had done to Jekyll. Remembered what he had promised in return for being let out. He smiled viciously.

“Playtime,” he whispered, before disappearing into the darkness.


It's the first time the physical Edward Hyde appears in the story.
  





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Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:38 am
Angel of Death says...



This is the beginning of the first love scene I have in my novel. Its supposed to be a romance novel but I've waited after 20,000 words to actually have this scene which is pathetic but yeah its my favorite and I love it. ^_^

As Andrew thought of all the possible ways Elizabeth could have discovered his secret, Elizabeth knelt down in front of him and stroked his face. Oh her touch was the calming of his soul. It had cooked in anger but now it rested, for he had been caressed by angel. Giving into her, he let her take him into her arms. But this closeness was dangerous. Not only had he hungered for the taste of her flesh but his desires could not be controlled. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted her more than life itself. If it meant that Edward would kill him if he had did more than kiss her, then so be it. Slowly he could feel himself changing into human form. His fur slipped from his body revealing it to the sun. Oh how wonderful it felt to him. It was like learning to breathe all over again.
"Elizabeth," he gasped.
"I saw you in my dreams."
Andrew was speechless. He closed his eyes and listened to the rhythm of her soul, hoping it would calm the love for her that coursed through his veins.
"And I had thought that you were not real. That it was just a dream but here you are."
"Are not you afraid?" he asked, his eyes fluttering.
"No. Never. You are beautiful."
"If only beauty was enough to save us all."
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.
  





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Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:46 am
The-Phantoms-Thorne says...



That's quite lovely, Angel! :)

Is Andrew a werewolf or a shape-shifter of sorts?
~@ Hyde's Classic Lines @~
“I must say, I enjoy a bit of carnage in the evening.”
“Well, this is the oddest angle I've seen London at, I must confess.”
  





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Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:51 am
Rydia says...



My latest section just because I don't have the time for skimming through and picking a part:

“I'm... I'm not... done... yet,” I gasp, coloured dots dancing before me, creating a honey-comb effect across my eyes as the whole world pixilates.

“I am,” Mike says and he walks away. Just like that. I'm still fuming over it later as I choke on a cigarette just inside my house. It feels like the walls are moving in on me, that or I'm slipping down, my back against one wall, my feet moving to meet the other and my bottom thudding softly against the carpet. I cry hard and loud. No one comes.
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Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:52 am
Angel of Death says...



Thanks ^_^ He's a werewolf. My story has not even considered taking the fantasy route but NaNo is doing such interesting things to my story. I love your snippet to Phantom. Though I'd like to read the horrific part. Dr. Jekyll and Hyde is like the most classic stories of all time. I'd really like to see what you do with it.

~Angel
True love, in all it’s celestial charm, and
star-crossed ways, only exist in a writer’s
mind, for humans have not yet learned
how to manifest it.
  





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Wed Nov 05, 2008 1:29 am
The-Phantoms-Thorne says...



Righto, Angel! The requested part has been sent to you... not sure if anyone else wants to see... but I'd rather be safe than sorry! XD

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is one of my favourite gothic horror stories, along with Phantom of the Opera. I quite like Hyde, despite his evil. He's an intriguing man-boy, I feel.
~@ Hyde's Classic Lines @~
“I must say, I enjoy a bit of carnage in the evening.”
“Well, this is the oddest angle I've seen London at, I must confess.”
  





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Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:02 pm
myfreindsavamp says...



“Jessie! Watch out!” He heard Amber cry. Ducking he fell to the ground just in time to only have his hair sizzled. He looked up. Only one person could have that power. Maria.
There she was. She wore a pair of jeans today. Though she looked pissed and not like herself if she looked like it she must be Maria. There was no one like her. He mentaly slapped himself. He needed to stop thinking of her like that. It was bad enough that he liked her but the worst part about it was that she was on the wrong side.


Stupid main character. He is one of three. the first already died. Shh don't tell. :wink:

This is from almost halfway point. *yays*
We've all been broken in some way. It's just how we express it that makes us dffrent form eachother.

“This precious book of love, this unbound lover,
To beautify him only lacks a cover.”
~William Shakespeare, The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet
  





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Wed Nov 05, 2008 6:13 pm
miyaviloves says...



These are all looking really good guys! I come onto the Nano forum here inbetween writing it, gives me inspirtation :D Good luck! Keep going! here is a little bit more from mine:

The tall mysteriously handsome character held a composed personality the whole evening. He politely kissed her hand when introduced, as she politely blushed back. How frustrating it was for her that he was sat at the other end of the table, talking to her wretchedly boring cousins, she felt for him, how much better it would have been for him if only he was sat next to her. She ate her meal only thinking of him and what stories she had to share with him, how amazing and passionate his voice was. She watched as his lips moved in conversation with her cousins, his lips slightly parted and wet.


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Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:42 pm
Gladius says...



Bah. This is a snippet from the random idea that popped in my head about a week ago (before I even remembered NaNo xD) that I'm basing my NaNo on.
Gladius wrote:But I’m not focused on that, or her words, or the moon-bathed surroundings, or even the trail; these observations aren’t even secondary. I’m focused inward, where I’m in complete, absolute turmoil. My emotions are sobbing up an ocean, drowning my heart in razor-sharp knives that are tearing me apart from the inside. My mind’s screaming at me that this is a stupid idea and I should be in the house already sleeping or studying for fall midterms next week.

Through it all, though, my heart’s inner eye can only go to one image:

Him dancing with her through the whole night.

The only thing I can allow myself to think at the moment is, ‘I didn’t even get one dance!’

All I can do for what seems an interminable time is drown in my emotions: anger at and frustration with myself; jealousy for her getting the best guy any girl could ever have; and, over it all, utterly unending, devouring, black-hole-like pain. I hardly notice when an exhausted Neoma slows to a trot and then a walk before halting beside our spring.

When I realize the comfortable rocking motion of my horse’s gait has halted, I raise my head wearily. With tear-blurred, bloodshot eyes I notice the moonbeams falling gently through the broken canopy over the crystal waters of Faere Spring, illuminating with motes of light the small particles of forest debris that are somehow hanging in midair. That’s one of the things that’s always attracted me to this place—that, and the romantic air.

That turns my thoughts bitter. What good was having a romantic place all to yourself? It was only romantic if there was someone special to share it with.

Yeah. That's the kind of turmoil she goes through. xD Character's name is Amelia, fyi. :P
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Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:52 am
The Cheshire Cat says...



Many people often regard Brussels-sprouts negatively, ignorant about the fact they actually have the ability to heal bullet wounds, destroy cancer, and ward off angry pelicans. If the end of the world was to come tomorrow, it is these people who would not live to see another day. Therefore, I would strongly suggest either learning to like Brussels-sprouts, or slathering them with so much gravy, you cannot tell the difference.

It is better if you do not ask me how I know this. It would create a lot of unsightly questions and greatly waste what little time I have to speak. Questions are often unnecessary and largely irritating. They are also one of the few things that one needs to survive.

My name is unimportant. The name you need to know is Gregory. Gregory Smit. This seemingly boring name is actually a very extraordinary name, first used by the Nymphs of Yesterday. Gregory is a man (which is good because very few girls would be pleased with the name Gregory.) who rarely left his house, preferring the solitary life that some might call ‘hermitish’. If ‘hermitish’ were a word, that is.



I am so excited about this X3 it's my first year and I've just started so i'm a bit worried about that, ha ha
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