"You want me, to help you hook up with my clone," Jenica said.
This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that’s barely out of its diapers. I’m old, Dean. Very old. So I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you.
5/10. I was interested, like the little character details, but if that was all I saw I could forget about the story rather easily. This fits better a paragraph-long opening better than a first line opening. (Terms taken from here)
“I don’t see why we should lose a daughter when guards can do a perfectly good job.”
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo
Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
Alone in the darkness, a small, forgotten box sang a melancholy tune that reminded the boy of the bitter strawberries that grew in his backyard in the spring.
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. -Jules de Gaultier Humans have not always been the superior race to walk this Earth... -The Sidhe prince Delbáeth
Hm. Well. I don't know, it doesn't give me a lot to picture. 7/10.
"I watched with baited breath as the warrior advanced through the dark chamber, sword in his hand and shield upon his arm."
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers. I'm the kind that pays better. ~Rick Castle
"With baited breath" is a somewhat cliche phrase; maybe describe the anxiety instead. It does hook me in wanting to know why there's someone sitting in the dark with a warrior. A nice hint of suspense there.
So I think mine sucks. If you've got some good advice, I'd like it:
With the rumor of a Viking longship docking earlier that day, there was no way Sólveig could concentrate on the mundane task of needlework.
We've got deep-fried water bears and horse wigs!
If you're slapped in Guam, you're slapped in real life. --chibibo
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8/10. Definitely throws me into the viking times, which I find interesting, but it's that last part, the idea of a guy doing needlework, that got me.
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers. I'm the kind that pays better. ~Rick Castle
Oh. *feels stupid* Well, I assumed it was a guy because of the viking image that came to mind. Whoops.
There are two kinds of folks who sit around thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers. I'm the kind that pays better. ~Rick Castle
Gender:
Points: 3527
Reviews: 41