Why the crap can't I be happy?! Why am I stuck with the crappy life--and why did I wait 5 years to fix it...hm? That is obnoxious. And why am I still standing outside my parents house...it's winter, remember? It's cold! My hands are going to fall off! I wanna go inside!!!
At first, I was thoroughly angry with you for having Augusta throw fire in my eyes and burning my house down. But now she's gone and I can get at Priest for the first time! Perhaps if I can please him enough I can be Vessel. This chance won't be wasted! You can count on it my lovely authoress.
Hugs and Kisses
Ruth
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Ruth:
Oh er thanks. For not hating me. Though that won't last long since well...since you're in with Priest. Uh...
Asenath is currently getting an edge in on Thomas.
Please don't kill me.
LUNA
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Luna,
SHE'S DOING WHAT?!?! Wait till I get my hands on that dirty little- And don't think you're off the hook!
Hugs and Kisses
Ruth
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Letter has been returned to sender because the address is no longer in residence at this address
I cannot name this I cannot explain this and I really don't want to just call me shameless. -Ani Di Franco "Shameless"
I have a proposition for you. No, really. I know I'm in no position to bargain, but please hear me out.
I know I've been difficult. You cant seem to get a bead on me and that's got to be frustrating. So, what if I promise to be good and let you get on with the story? Will you do me one small favour? It's not for myself, you understand. At least not entirely. What I was wondering was - well, will you please, please go easy on Amara? She's not as bad as you think, you know. I mean, she and her mother have both been tyrants in their own way, but she is trying. And, all right, she did murder the old queen. But she loves her people. Please, dont let her destroy herself. For my sake. You know you love me. Please?
I owe you.
~ Alexander
---
Dear Alexander,
I'm touched that you would plead for your girlfriend and all, really I am. And I would seriously love to get on with the story. But arent you forgetting something? First of all, Amara is bloody well strong enough to look after herself, thanks. She took her own path with her eyes wide open, and she's willing to face the consequences. That's why *she's* the main character, and you're just the love interest. Get used to it. Besides, you're supposed to be from a matriarchal society, stupid!
Secondly, wasnt it *you* who turned traitor and did the whole "lets destroy the monarchy" bit? If I recall rightly, it was *your* fault she was just about assassinated. So, sorry. Much as I love you, I think I'll leave Amara to her own devices. She's a bit unruly, I grant you, and that bit with her mother was somewhat unnecessary. But I'm sure she'll be much more satisfactory as a warrior queen than as some prissy princess forever hiding behind her Big Strong Man.
Thanks anyway,
~ Bubbles.
---
Dear Bubbles,
I'm sure I've said this before, but...WHEN are you going to start writing again? I'm sitting here, bored stiff, while you go on about philosophical nonsense and I'm stuck on the brink of a civil war. May I remind you that *I* am the queen here? You'd better watch yourself, my lady, or you might find yourself on the wrong end of my dagger.
Now, I didnt object when you decided I should kill my mother. She deserved it. Nor did I object when you decided that I should, in the end, completely destroy myself and everyone I'd ever loved. I get that you love drama and that you're entirely too sadistic for your own good. But I swear, I'm going to kill MYSELF soon if you dont get on with this. Start writing already!
Sincerely,
Amara
---
Dear Amara,
I have a whole week off next week. I promise I'll try to do something about your situation then.
Regards,
Bubbles
PS: Perhaps I shall have to make you lose that dagger. Just in case you get any ideas.
Could you, um, answer a question, pretty please? Okay.
ARE YOU ACTUALLY PLANNING TO WRITE, LIKE, EVER?
I mean seriously. I think you like Charon better than you like me. You write his chapters and stretch them out for thousands upon thousands of words, but my chapters are done in under 2k. What the hell?
That's right. You better scramble over to that word document pretty damn quick. I'll be waiting.
Yours angrily,
Florence Helene St. Claire
"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring." -Chuck Palahniuk
I just want you to know, that if I didn't exist in the world of fiction, you would be charred to a crisp by now! Nevermind what Felix would do, since you made her/him the cruel, emotionless interrogator for the werecat clan. Even Luxor's pretty damned mad, and you know him, the yellowbellied hippy Pharaoh...oh, now he's reading over my shoulder, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT YOU POT-SMOKING ALBINO HIPPY LIBERAL COMMUNIST?!? Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyway, if you read this, you should be deeply, deeply afraid, because I bet the anger between us three directed at you is enough to somehow cause a few "accidents" to happen up there in reality. So, I'd recommend getting out the tinfoil hat...
With loathing,
Wail
If there's ever a meat shortage, eat this profile; it's full of balogna.
please exuse this writing, André is stil teaching me to handwrite corecttly. i just wanted to say, why are you so suprised that i want to sing? you notiss how peaple get happy when you sing-- i just want to bring that happyness to peaple. i want it bad.
why wont you let me sing?
sinserely,
Émon
afternoat: do NOT juge me on this writing, you kno i sound much more inteligent when i talk.
afternoat too: if you rite my dialog like this, i will kill you
I'm sorry I just showed up so late. You know how hard it is to run a restauraunt. Actually you're unemployed and under eighteen so you wouldn't. Either way, I really get a kick out of Lydia. Any chance we'll get a happy ending? And if not, I can stand for friends with benefits.
You owe me after you had Goddess pick my girlfriend for Ritual.
Jessica
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Jessica,
WHERE DID YOU COME FROM? Oh and don't get me started on Eve, Della, and Victor. They didn't exist either until you popped up and have Lydia go into a nice lengthy flashback. Geez...and I don't even have a name for your dead girlfriend!
And we'll see about the whole romance between Lydia and you. I hope this letter reaches you. I'm hiding out in a box in Tijuana to make sure Ruth doesn't get me.
Don't tell her okay? Thanks.
LUNA
I cannot name this I cannot explain this and I really don't want to just call me shameless. -Ani Di Franco "Shameless"
It is quite possible that you have misinterpreted my motives as emperor of Naryen-Mair. I am afraid that you have placed me firmly in your mind as an evil, moustache-twirling tyrant with no heart at all.
May I point out the error of your ways.
First: I do not consider myself evil; I look after my country as a mother does a favorite child.
Second: I do not have a moustache.
Third: Tyrant? More democracy has flourished under my reign than has in a hundred years.
Fourth: I have a heart, I can assure you.
Please consider these points and attend to the story as such.
~His Majesty Emperor Feron-Shious Yendalenson, Emperor of Naryen-Mair
Look, it's nice you finished your NaNo and all. But what the hell happened to me and Charity? Weren't you going to bring me in at one point? I'm still HERE you know.
Sincerely,
Jeb
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Jeb,
Yeah yeah, I'll get to you when I'm done playing Zelda and I give it a massive rewrite. Go knock up someone and leave me the heck alone.
LUNA
I cannot name this I cannot explain this and I really don't want to just call me shameless. -Ani Di Franco "Shameless"
Hello? Is anyone actully there? Jeez, I wish you'd listen to me more. Or are you sent on turning my live into a complete and utter mess? Don't you want me to be happy? Then stop taking everything away from me!
Wires
*
Wires,
Live with it. I gave you Cray, or would you still rather have Klee back than him?
Fish
*
Fish,
Shut up.
Wires.
please grant me my small wish; (love me to the marrow of my bones)
Oi Little Miss "I MUST play Zelda!" You finished your damn waste of pixels now get back to this computer screen and WRITE. I gave you leeway to write about that insipid girl Asenath for a whole month. Now get back to Jyace and I, or so help me I'll break your Wii into pieces.
And you know I will.
Deelia
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Dee,
Urgh, that's low, threatening my precious console of wonder and joy. Lucky for you I just beat Zelda an hour ago. Fine, let me catch my breath and stop moping over the ending of the game and I promise that once I get some well deserved down time I'll write your bloody outline out and get down to the real story.
Now go away and leave me and my electronic entertainment alone.
LUNA
I cannot name this I cannot explain this and I really don't want to just call me shameless. -Ani Di Franco "Shameless"
You tore my arm off! That wasn't very nice, at all! I needed that arm to write... i can write can't I? Who knows in this carzy worl i live in. You bring explosions into everything, and suddenly those robots guns dissapeared into thin air!
You suck as God!
And you can't even spell, the shame...the shame....
Plus you destroyed my planet. ON THE FIRST LINE!
well this is a letter to explain my disguist at your attempt to make me a hero. I need that arm to do things. My other one is mechanical...Hang about, YOU TOOK MY OTHER ARM TOO!
...I HATE YOU!
yours sincerley Katsu.
xxx
---
Dear Katsu,
You tore your own arm off. If you hadn't realised, you were impaled through the arm with a claw. It's not my fault you're a muppet.
Plus, if there weren't explosions and people dying, wouldn't your life be boring? You'd be normal. I don't want to read about a normal person.
I'd rather read about a half mechanical experimental man with a bad head.
And comes from the middle of no where...
Stop making me think twice about this storyline!
Plus get yourself a heater if your cold. Actually i'm going to make you pay for shouting at me as soon as i get back to writing! (Ha)
From L
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Dear L,
I'm supposed to be dead, but i've come back just to ask you this...
Aren't you suppsed to be revising?
You vow to revise all the time non stop, yet you still find the time to kill me off.
I'm not one to get emotional over things (at all...) But it's always me isn't it?
From Takeo
P.S this is my first letter, Michio helped me, and says hi.
---
Dear Takeo,
Erm, shut up.
I was going to revise. I got distacted...
Rephrase! I was revising! Revising English! So there!
And it was about time you died really... How many times have you nearly died? You should really have died from starvation, because you've never ate, or gone to the toilet.
And wow that is the first time i've ever heard you whine! Except that other time, you schittzophrenic freak!
Anydo...
Hi Michio how you doing?
Oh by the way while you were dead Michio took your woman.
From L.
Siggys' suck, I don't know what to say about myself. Doopeydoo...
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