Hello everyone. I was recommended here by a friend saying this is the best place to get opinions on written works seeing as I hope to become an author at some point. I got the idea when we were set the task of creating an original piece based of either 'Harry Potter and the Philosophers/Sorcerers Stone' or 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland'. I chose Alice because everyone else selected Harry and I wanted my work to stand out. The idea came from a friend who had recently watched the movie 'Zombieland'. I may plan on continuing this work and submitting it to a publisher. But untill then this is what I came up with. It was written in quite a short time to be honest but I'm not sure if that has worked to my advantage.
Alice’s Adventures in Zombieland
Alice was falling. The rabbit hole led to a great drop, either the hole was extremely deep, or she was falling very slowly. She passed many bizarre things on her descent, such as cupboards and other furnishings, Alice was also very certain that she saw an empty jar labelled “ORANGE MARMALADE”. After what seemed like forever, Thump! Down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over.
Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead: before her was another long passage, but the White Rabbit was nowhere in sight. “I should think that my fall must have slowed me down a great deal” Alice thought to herself. She hurried down the passage, there was not a moment to be lost, she needed to catch up with him, “and when I do I shall have to ask him where on earth I am!” Alice said aloud to herself “And I should be quick about it too or I may miss supper to-night” she added. The corridor went on for some while, but the queerest thing about it was the smell, it was the aroma of rotten fruit. Alice was not familiar with it but she knew it couldn’t be coming from something pleasant. It was at this moment she realised that there was absolute silence. The passage was decorated with such elaborate designs, there were the most beautiful paintings you could hope to see and elaborate ottomans next to grand sideboards. There seemed to be an ominous atmosphere in the passage which made Alice very uneasy. She walked very cautiously in case something jumped out on her “You should know that there are no such thing as monsters at your age!” A voice inside Alice’s voice told her. This didn’t ease her thoughts though. As she made her way down the exceedingly long passage she heard a faint sound in the distance, and she was certain it was someone playing the piano. (Alice wasn’t very knowledgeable in music but she was sure it was one of Ludwig van Beethoven’s pieces, possibly the “MOONLIGHT SONATA” but Alice could only guess). She decided she should go and find the source of this noise at once “My, that music does unsettle me so!” she thought.
She made her way through the hallway which ended at a large door. She approached the door and slowly opened it. As she entered the room she saw him, the White Rabbit was with his back to her playing a grand piano, decorated with elaborate golden designs and made of such beautiful dark oak, she approached him and said quietly “Excuse me sir?”, the moment she ended her speech the music stopped “well at least I now know where that music was coming from” Alice thought, and he turned to her with an expression of absolute terror on his face. As he saw Alice his eyes widened and he let out a terrified yelp causing him to fall off the chair (and Alice to jump). He stumbled awkwardly to his feet and Alice noticed that he was shivering “maybe he is cold, with him wearing so little I ca’n’t understand whom wouldn’t be” Alice thought. The Rabbit spoke quietly and with a stutter.
“I-I d-didn’t think an-nyone w-was l-left.”
“I’m sorry” Alice said as politely as she could “but I haven’t the slightest idea what you are talking about!”
“G-gone, all g-gone” it stuttered
“Please, you are starting to frighten me, what is all gone?”
“Ev-veryone, I must g-go now, before those things g-get to m-me” he added as he paced to the door. He reached into a small umbrella stand next to the door which Alice hadn’t noticed as she came in and pulled out a stuffed, pink flamingo and handed it to Alice “Use it to f-fend them off, I’m dreadfully sorry but i-it’s too late” (he pulled out he pocket watch as he said this and Alice was positive it was broken) “Just find a w-way out” and on these words he left in a run leaving Alice frightened and confused. “What on earth was he talking about” she asked herself “I should follow him” and she did just that, she left the room and headed down the corridor and heard a blood-curdling scream, The White Rabbit was in trouble she ran still clutching the Flamingo and saw the most horrifying sight she had ever seen. There was a man wearing a tall top hat, he was uttering a depressing soulless moaning sound, his arms were outstretched like some sort of ghoul and his eyes, they were misted over with a milky whiteness, Alice screamed in absolute terror but this got the attention of the man. He started towards Alice, slowly; his arms still out stretched like some sort of hungry ghost, his fingers were clenching like he was trying to grab her, without thinking, Alice swung the flamingo…
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