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Fri Jul 01, 2011 6:15 am
stargazer9927 says...



Okay so I know famous people are overdone in the media right now (especially after Hannah Montana) but my story's a bit different and I want some feedback whether or not it sounds really stupid.

My novel stars a main character of a sixteen year old boy with a famous father. He gets himself into some trouble and gets a little cocky since his father is so famous and has so much money. But getting himself in trouble ends up everywhere and he's really embarrassed. He has a past of his own that he's still trying to work through and his parents are both divorced so he has a mother he never speaks to and hasn't seen in years. This causes even more problems and his father finally blows his top when he completely embarrasses him in front of the paparazzi one day.

He sends him to live with his mother and that's when he meets this girl (it's only half a love story). She lives the complete opposite life he did and lives in a run down apartment with no money whatsoever. They end up going to the same school because she's there by scholarship and his father paid for him and they become close friends. She's a huge fan of his father but she never imagined getting to know his son. It's there he's forced to live with his poor mother and in order to prevent word getting out where he is he doesn't tell anyone who is really is and pretends he's poor like this girl. He lives his life completely opposite of before and is now the one being mocked for not having money. It teaches him a huge lesson and he finally meets some real friends.

Tell me what you think. I've already started writing it and I must admit out of everything I've written it's one of my favorites. It's in third person (although I could probably get away with making it in a two first person form) but it does have a main character.
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Sat Jul 02, 2011 3:26 am
Rosey Unicorn says...



If you've already started writing it, so far it's your favourite, and you don't see your enjoyment stopping anytime soon— why ask us what we think?

Write for yourself and hope people like it. I've found that's where the best writing comes from. :)
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

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135 Reviews



Gender: Female
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Sat Jul 02, 2011 8:02 pm
stargazer9927 says...



I far from care what people think, but that doesn't mean I don't want an opinion on it outside of myself. Even if everyone told me it was a stupid idea I would still write it. I think I mostly posted this to see what people thought of it so I could decide if I wanted to post it on YWS. I don't want to post something no one would read, but I would continue writing it anyway.
Let's eat mom.
Let's eat, mom.
Good grammar saves lives :D




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Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:47 pm
Dynamo says...



If you post something on YWS, someone will read it. This site is meant to help young writers improve their literary skills and supply them with meaningful feedback. Don't be so quick to dismiss other people's opinions, though. If someone doesn't like your story idea, that doesn't mean they won't try to give you tips on ways it can be improved. Yes, the people who say "this sucks" without giving any reason why are simply out to troll you, but the rest of us decent human beings are going to help you improve your work.

As for the story itself, it's an interesting idea. It shows us the downsides for kids from having a parent/parents that are famous. I can't say that it hasn't been done before, but if you're really passionate about it you can find some way to make the story unique.
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135 Reviews



Gender: Female
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Reviews: 135
Wed Jul 06, 2011 6:14 pm
stargazer9927 says...



Thanks, but I thought about it all this week and I decided I didn't want to post it on YWS. This is my favorite, most personal, and most emotional story. I'm afraid that if someone says even one little mean thing about it I'll take it a little too personally. My summery couldn't even make a dent in everything I put into this story. It's much more than just a story about a rich boy falling in love and learning a lesson. I was thinking about it for a while, which is why I posted the summery, but now I decided against it.

And I agree. I always hid my writing from everyone when I first started and I didn't get any better. It wasn't until I took creative writing and joined this site that my improvements seemed to skyrocket. You need other people's opinions to get better.

My sisters love this story and they all tell me this will be the story that gets published someday. But I'd have to disagree with them. I've shown this story to close friends and family, but that's about it. Maybe one day I'll branch out and show it to others, but for now it's just a novel that sits on my computer for my own enjoyment and hopefully someday for my children's enjoyment. But thanks for the feedback! It was much appriciated :)
Let's eat mom.
Let's eat, mom.
Good grammar saves lives :D