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Young Writers Society


Is Your Kid a Goth?



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Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:12 pm
Tessitore says...



I posted this in my blog and decided to put it here, too. I found this damned amusing:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Is your child a Goth? Presented by St. Mary's Church

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.

-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

-Masturbates.

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~St. Mary's Catholic Church

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone gothic... raise your hands.

*raises hand*

The only ones I didn't get was:

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)


...wow, I'm so damned...
I'm not even angry... I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me... And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
-"Still Alive"- GLaDOS
  





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Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:16 pm
niteowl says...



*raises hand*

Well not really, but according to that list I am.
"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand." Leonardo Da Vinci

<YWS><R1>
  





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Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:18 pm
Tessitore says...



So out of thirty-seven... how many did you get?

I'm 35/37...

Wow... I'm so gothic...
I'm not even angry... I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me... And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
-"Still Alive"- GLaDOS
  





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Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:32 pm
Nai says...



Well let's see...

1. I want to get at least one tattoo on my arm
2. I'm not a fan of any sport
3. I complain of boredom sometimes
4. I sleep too little everyday
5. I don't hang out with my friends and my mom or dad at the same time
6. I watch T.V.
7. I play RPG's and MMORPG's
8. I use the internet frequently

The rest I don't do but the masturbation thing i'm not commenting on lol

Sweet Jesus I must be a goth :/
Last edited by Nai on Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα
  





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Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:35 pm
nickelpickle says...



i got eleven and am no where near goth!
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:15 am
Crysi says...



23. Me? A goth? HAHAHAHAHAHA... *ahem*

Dude.. you should see my ENGLISH teacher. He IS a goth lol. It's so awesome.. But me? I'm more of a nerd than anything else. Well, a band geek. :P That is so hilarious.. I love the Count Chocula part!! And complaining of boredom.. Doesn't everyone do that?? Sheesh.

Hahaha.. I should start claiming to be a goth now..
Love and Light
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:30 am
Ego says...



I'm deeply offended by that list...probably because so much of it applies to me, and none of the ones that apply are in any way tied to being Goth...or Satanist...

Here are the ones that go with me:

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates. (not that you wanted to know or anything... :? )
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.


23/35

Honestly, who doesn't eat count chocula...
Got YWS? I do.

Lumi: Don't you drag my donobby into this.
Lumi: He's the sweetest angel this side of hades.
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 1:39 am
Tessitore says...



Masturbates. (not that you wanted to know or anything... )


Heh. Well, I figure most (MOST!) teenagers over 14 have masturbated and I, personally, have no issue with it. In fact, I'm quite the expert. Having started at 12. Yup, 12.

I also frequently give sex tips. Anyone is invited to contact me if they have any questions about anything ^^.

...

Hm...

Maybe I AM going to hell...
I'm not even angry... I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me... And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
-"Still Alive"- GLaDOS
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:05 am
Perra says...



I got 12/37, and I'm also not a goth. That was a pretty funny list, in some parts at least. Others were offensive.
YWS gives me carpal tunnel.

Need a Critique?

Evil lurks everywhere, often in plain sight...Can you lurk in plain sight? Or is that just walking?
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:15 am
Lara St. Muerte says...



about the time it got to the gothic cereal, i became convinced this was a joke
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:15 am
Skye says...



19/37.

I'm not a goth. I'm the inncoent goofy type. Not a goth. Strange list...very funny to! ^.^
Last edited by Skye on Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:16 am
Tessitore says...



This is an honest-to-god (heh) phamplet that St. Mary's church handed out.

Frightening, isn't it?
I'm not even angry... I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart.
And killed me... And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
-"Still Alive"- GLaDOS
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:21 am
Nate says...



LOL

This is even funnier because I go to Saint Mary's Catholic Church, although most certainly not the same one. My favorite here is:
"-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this. "

In any case, I have frequently found the goth community to be just as diverse as any other community and to try to judge somebody based on what they like to wear is never indicative of a person's character. For instance, I've known plenty a guy who dresses like it was Sunday every day, but then goes to bed with a different girl every night. I've also known plenty a guy who dresses like a Goth to pray before he goes to bed every night.
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:26 am
Sam says...



*chokes* Tessitore, I'm going with you!

and I'm not even goth...but according to the list I am
Graffiti is the most passionate form of literature there is.

- Demetri Martin
  





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Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:33 am
Lara St. Muerte says...



not a joke eh? still not sure if i buy it...
five or more things from this list and youre a goth? i guess that about covers us all... anyone here who cant say yes to at least five of those things?
  








"Be yourself" is not advice. It's an existential crisis waiting to happen.
— Hank Green