Young Writers Society

Your last poem that I reviewed was fantastic and I love your style, so I decided to stop by and read your other poems and decided I should review this one!

Wow, to me, this felt like a brilliant reflection of growing up and maturing and realizing that the word is different than it was when you were younger. In your first stanza, I love the child like references you make. with the over exaggeration of years too, when you say:

maybe a thousand years ago
when we biked to stores, and were so carefree
but even then, i’m sure there were a few cracks already

Hello!
This passage is a contemplative reflection on the impermanence of life and the challenges of growing up. The author uses simple yet evocative language to create a sense of nostalgia for a time when things were simpler and more carefree. The repetition of the phrase "I don't remember" creates a sense of distance and detachment from the past, emphasizing the fleeting nature of memories and experiences.

The use of contrasting imagery, such as the cracked sidewalk and cloudy sky, creates a sense of tension and conflict between the idealized past and the realities of the present. The author also touches on themes of struggle and vulnerability, such as the difficulty in breathing and the fear of drowning.

This passage ends on a wistful note, with the author asking if the reader remembers a time when everything was perfect and beautiful. However, the final line, "but even then, we could never get rid of the cracks in the sidewalk," suggests that even in the most idyllic of moments, there are always imperfections and challenges to contend with.

Overall, this passage is a poignant reflection on the fleeting nature of life and the bittersweet memories that shape us. The author's use of imagery and repetition creates a sense of nostalgia and longing, while the underlying themes of struggle and vulnerability add depth and complexity to the piece.

Approved by the Corn Dog Enthusiast Association (CDEA)

Hi, quick review here for your poem!
This is a very meaningful poem. One of the things I liked about it was that you had a pattern in each of the stanzas, so the first line would start with "I don't remember there being a time" and the last line would be "but even then, something something." I also liked that in the last stanza, you wrapped everything up from all the other stanzas (and also added some other things too) backwards, and then you wrapped up with the idea from the first stanza. Lastly, you used a lot of metaphors, which is a great trait to use in poems, so you did really well on that.
Overall, the poem has a lot of meaning behind it, so keep writing poems like this!