"I'm leaving."
Those words made Emmalyn's heart sink. She sat down on her bed, her mind going all fuzzy. She had just woken up from a nightmare, but those words were more dreadful than any nightmare she'd ever had.
"W-what are you talking about?" she finally managed to ask, her voice trembling.
"Shh…be quiet." The other girl hissed, "you'll wake up, mum and dad."
The two girls were in complete darkness, except for the small rays of moonlight seeping through the broken window in the corner of the room.
"Why are you leaving?" Emma whispered, trying hard not to sob.
"This isn't where I belong Emma," Megan replied, putting on her black cloak. She then grabbed a small brown pouch where she had kept her most valued possessions and slung it over her shoulder. "I'm sorry..."
She took a few quiet steps towards the broken window. Now Emmalyn could see her better; Megan's eyes were puffy, and she was biting her lower lip; something she'd always do when she's nervous.
Emma grasped the wooden headboard of her bed, her nails digging into the patterns carved on it. "It's not fair…" she whispered, hot tears dripping down her cheeks. "You can't leave me here."
Megan let out a long frustrates sigh, and slowly opened the window allowing the fresh air flow inside. "I can't take you with me; you know that."
"But, if you leave…" Emma quickly lowered her voice.
"Everyone will perish, and they won't have any hope left?" Megan snapped, rolling her eyes. "Why should I carry all the burden, huh? I can't do it, Emma, I'm not fit for this. I want to live a normal life…" She grabbed the window frames and hopped onto the window still. "You can wake up mum and dad if you want, but they can't stop me."
Emma rushed forward, grabbing the end of her cloak, "Please, don't leave!" Her hands were trembling, but she didn't let go. Megan was the only reason she got the chance to live, with her gone, she wouldn't have a reason to live anymore.
"Don't let others figure out your destiny Emma," Megan said softly. "You don't deserve to die for someone like me."
"I don't have a destiny. Megan, I-I'm a" she choked on her own words, "I'm a nobody. I was raised just so I could die for you someday."
More tears started to escape her eyes, making her go vision blurry. The lump forming in her throat made it harder for her to breath. She had spoken the truth, and she had known it her entire life, but saying it out loud just made it hurt a lot more.
Megan turned around and gently grabbed Emma's trembling, ice-cold hands. "You're Emmalyn Willows, the girl who's not afraid to die." She said as she slowly released the end of the cloak from the trembling girl's grasp, "but that doesn't mean others get to decide when or how you should die. That's beyond their control." She placed a small kiss on her forehead, "I'm sorry for being a bad sister Emma. I'll make it up to you someday if we ever meet again."
Before Emmalyn could respond, Megan gently pushed her away and hopped out of the window. Having their bedroom on the first floor certainly did make Megan's escape plan quite easy.
Emma ran back to the window and looked outside, her trembling fingers gripping the window sill.
She was gone. Megan had really left her.
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125,003 Literary Works • 672,791 Reviews
Hi writerkitty! Here as requested.
First things first, I love the title! I don't have many guesses about what it's about but I love the "R" alliteration and Ruulan is such an interesting name. It definitely gives the reader something more to look forward to (who/what is Ruulan?). And it just sounds lovely!
Alright, so hopping into the chapter. Right off the bat, we're thrusted into the action, and I like how we (as readers) have to read more to piece some information together - Emma and Megan are sisters, and there's clearly something deeper going on here. While I don't mind automatically being plopped into action - in fact, I think it's a great way to start off a chapter - I did feel like this was a little rushed.
I think more development of their surroundings would clear things up a bit and slow things down. - clearly, they're in their bedroom, but where is Megan getting her cloak from? A wardrobe? Also, the beginning was slightly confusing - was Emma awake already, and Megan just said "I'm leaving" or she just woke up and saw Megan leaving or...? If the beginning was slowed down a little - with setting/surrounding developed a little more - I think that could clear up some things for the reader, as well as make it not feel super rushed!
So far, Emma seems like a pretty relatable character. I understand her feeling like a "nobody" and her clearly loving her sister is so sweet. There's something more going on here- Megan can leave but can't take Emma with her, so I'm guessing Megan is older and Emma has some responsibility. This part is really intriguing:
It seems like some weird moral responsibility she has, or even some actual responsibility? I don't know, but it's definitely interesting!
There's a lot to be explored - why doesn't Megan feel like she fits it? What's Emma's role in all of this? What do their parents have to do with anything? Will there be repercussions for Megan leaving? I would really like to see Megan's motive for leaving because it almost seems a bit selfish to leave just because she "doesn't belong" - clearly Emma is devastated! But perhaps there's more to the story than that.
This is definitely a great start to a story and so many interesting plot points have already been raised, which makes it so exciting! I would love to read more - if you could tag me when you release new parts, that would be awesome!
Peace,
~ EternalRain
^-^ Thank you so much for the wonderful review!
I do agree about the beginning being rushed... I struggled a bit to writing the first bit, maybe that's why it seems so rushed. ^-^ Your suggestions on it are quite helpful. I'll fix it up soon!
^-^ I'll definitely tag you when I post a new chapter!
Woohoo! I%u2019m excited to read the next chapter!
Wow! What an opening! O_O
Okay sorry about the out burst, couldn't help it.
So the beginning of this chapter sure got me thinking. I mean I didn't expect to open this and the first thing I saw was "I'm leaving." That was a real shocker. And I still have know idea the real reason behind why Megan said that, she did say a few things, but it's not the real reason, so I'm really looking forward to learning more about her running away.
Emma is such a sweet girl, she truly does love her sister. And some how I can't but wonder if that will get her in trouble later on? With the way Megan was talking to her, she made me think she is a really large peace in this story. I have so many questions, like why was she made just to die for her own sister? Is it because her sister is also something that has a lot of value, or is Emma even Megan's real sister? >.<
I'm just loving your description! I normally open my stories up with a description, but you added it in as we read, and it was a really good way to bring your reader into this world you have created. It was so good I didn't want it to end in away. XP
There was a lot of hidden information in this chapter that I'm sure will be explained later on as we get further into the story, so I'm looking forward to that. You've always been good at keeping your reader hooked, but I'm really pumped to read the next chapter!
This wasn't a very long chapter so I didn't learn to much, but it was enough for me to get thinking about what could happen. So I really am happy with how you have planned out this chapter, I can see the plot is moving along at a really good speed, and it's all set for an action packed book.
While I was reading I picked up on one small mistake.
I think you might have meant to say 'Live'?
Well that's all I have right now. I'm really excited for the next chapter! So I wish you luck!
Your faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix.
Reviewing with a fiery passion!
^-^ Thank you soo much for the review Flame!
Most of them will be answered soon! 
I'm so glad you liked the prologue, and yep... I'm sure it might've brought up a lot of questions.
Ooh...I missed that spelling mistake! Thanks for pointing it out. I didn't proofread this before posting. ^^
I'm really excited to see what will happen next!
Well for some one who didn't proofread you sure did a really good job!
First off, When I started reading, I'm not sure what was happening. Considering this is a prologue, I would like to know where Megan is going. Personally, (This is just an idea, you don't have do it, just a piece of advice) I would write on Chapter One about Megan, because it seems as though Emma has known this escape plan by Megan for a long time. Perhaps Megan in your mind is just a person wandering wherever she wants to, but in my mind, she seems like she has a place in mind to go to. I'd like to know where that place is. This is from a reader's perspective, not telling you to do anything, just giving you some advice.
Also, There are a few misprints here and there.
There is good news though!
The story "plan" so far is really interesting. The conversation between Megan and Emma was excellent, especially when Megan said, "You're Emmalyn Willows, the girl who's not afraid to die. But that doesn't mean others get to decide when or how you should die. That's beyond their control."
I am like that myself. I have really cool story ideas, but I have a hard time writing them.
Over all, good prologue! I look forward to seeing Chapter One!
I really appreciate all the suggestions and feedback! ^^
Your welcome!