12+

The Cursed Prophesy

     “Fly with me,” he begged, his lips pressed tenderly on my ear. The ground trembled below us, announcing a horrible faith to come if we didn’t leave—now. I couldn’t trust him, though, because I had no guarantee that this guy would be any better from those men.

     No. Not after what I’d seen.

     “I can’t,” I whispered back, hearing their voices echoing louder. “I don’t know you.”

     “Please, Claire, just trust me.” His grip became tighter when the first glimpse of light flashed through the thick trees behind us. “You’ll be safe. I’d never hurt you.”

     “I saw you kill my uncle,” I let out, my breaths becoming short and hollow. The image of his eyes looking into mine, like he was so scared of what was happening, burned inside of me. My limbs became gelatin, my mouth sandpaper, and the only thing that could keep me standing came in the shape of a murderer.

     “That was not your uncle, for Christ’s sake,” he replied, anxious. His heart drummed in his chest, a clear indicator of their closeness. More lights flashed through, and the river at the bottom of the cliff suddenly roared louder, almost as if it tried to match the mood. “He was one of them. They can make you see things that aren’t really there.”

     “And how do I know you’re not one of them? How do I know you’re real?”

     He looked at me for a slight moment, yet that was enough to distort time. The way those ringlets of golden fire spiraled in his eyes helped me forget about it all for a moment, focus solely on the words he said. “Listen to what your heart tells you.”

     But I didn’t have to listen. I knew I wanted to trust him. I knew that damn well. Without the need of a conscious command, my hands traveled around his bare torso and laced with each other on his lower back. “What if I fall?”

     “I’ll catch you,” he said, and the sound of something unfolding matched the way his body tensed. My gaze drifted involuntarily at the wings in front of me. They swayed gently, almost stretching after being held in for a long time. Their natural glow looked…heavenly. “Ready?”

     “I don’t think I’ll ever be,” I confessed, noticing his arms becoming stiffer around me as he moved both of us until we were right on the edge.

     “You’ll get used to it, Clary.”

     “Hurry up; I know they’re out it that clearing!” A voice shouted from behind us, and more lights kept bouncing on and off the trees.

     “I’m scared, James….”

     He took my legs and let them curl around him, moving my arms so that they laid curled around his neck. “You shouldn’t be—not with me.” He took a deep breath, and I could hear the wings vibrating with power. “At the count of three, okay?”

     I nodded, feeling his chest against my forehead. “Run faster!” Someone yelled.

     “One,” he murmured.

     “I can see them!”

     “Two.”

     My stomach tightened, and I felt him leaning over the edge.

     “He’s gonna jump; we can’t lose them! Boss needs her!”

     “Three.”

     The world stopped for a second. It was as if we were floating in an empty void—just the two of us. Their screams suddenly didn’t matter anymore, my rational thoughts dissipated, his body relaxed, and everything became warmer.

     I let my eyes close then, feeling how it all snapped back and we fell off the cliff. 

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
wendylau98
Review

Hey there, I am new in reviewing, but I'll try my best. If you have anything to say to me, feel free to comment below or PM me or comment me or review me back or sent me a gift or... just don't send me a death threat.

"it looks.... heavenly." Wings are made from heaven. It emits a heavenly glow or something like that.

"He took my leg." Like how? I imagined it in a comical way/murderous way that he literally took her leg. "He took my hand." would indicate he held her hand. But took my leg.. hrmmmm..

"Feeling how it all snapped back." Back from what? reality or the feeling of ecstasy or something wholly different? Do rephrase it.

But the most important, this is a great short part of a chapter! It's actually somehow connected me more than some other angel book I read. I bring more excitement, more anticipation, it describes the surrounding and the emotions just enough to feel the rush of emotions but not too long that it drags! Love your writing. Rating 10/10. I did somehow imagine Clary Fairchild and Jace Herondale at the edge of the cliff.

Anyway, I would like to read more of your writing! Don't be surprised for me to spam you for reviews!

~Wendy

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clarevelyn13
Review

I really really like this! Nice going. :)
There are only two places I found that could use an adjustment. First, in the very second sentence, I feel as though the word "fate" would make more sense in place of "faith." Second, when a voice from the trees calls, "I know they’re out it that clearing," I think the word "it" should be changed to "at" or "in" in order to make more sense.
Other than these two more grammatical points, I couldn't really find anything I'd want you to change. There were a lot of details nicely placed in this story, and I could picture what was going on easily the entire way through. Although there were some pieces that made me want a bit more explanation in order to more fully understand, I know that can only come with reading further into this story. When I finished reading this page, I wished there was more for me to read because I liked it so much! Very interesting, and good diction all the way through. I also liked the name choices (my name is Clare - spelled differently, haha). Well done!

Hello!! Thank you so much for taking time to read and leave a review; it means a lot to me.
I'm really glad to see you liked it! :) (Plus, the fact that your names matched--well, sort of--just made me laugh so much)

Thanks again and I hope you have a nice day/night!

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ebstanton Review

The parallel anxiousness and counting towards the end flows well, and this has quite some potential. It reminds me of the Crescendo books I read in my younger years. The only thing that stuck out was the second to last sentence, which could be structured a little better. Other than that, this was interesting and colorful. Keep going :)

Aw, thank you!! I appreciate you taking your time to read and leave a review!! I'l definitely check and see if I can make my way around a better option of word choice for the second sentence :)
Thanks again and I hope you have a nice day/night!



Now I realize that there is no righteous path, it’s just people trying to do their best in a world where it is far too easy to do your worst.
— Castiel