Hey, whatchamacallit! You've reviewed so many of my poems, so it's about time to return the favour! I'm honestly a bit intimidated to review one of yours, but here we are xDSo to start off with the format of this poem, I absolutely love it! I've read a lot of poems about love being compared to honey or involving a metaphor with it, so I think it's pretty cool how you've decided to put it into a honey jar, or something similar. I also think it's a nice touch how the jar is closed instead of opened, because that gives the "bumblebees that bounce around inside my belly" feel. I don't think you would've gotten the same effect if you had the jar open. And I love how the title of your poem is written on the tag. Also, from your review on mine, I've come to appreciate how well your font and picture go together! Overall, I think your format worked really well.Now to the poem!This has a flowing and rambly (in a good way) feel and doesn't have any full stops, which I think works quite nicely, because bees just keep buzzing and fly around pretty fast, so it feels like a bee buzzing and flying. Also, I think people in love are more energized and excited and happy, so they can be "buzzing" as well in a way. I love your word choice and your phrases! Some of my favourite lines were
sweet honey fills my lungs and tears of gold drip from my eyes
a little hexagon where I'm safe
I don't get bird feet I get bumble bee legs
but I'm not suffocating I'm breathing joy and you...
and you make my chest ache but in a sweet way, not a bittersweet way just a honey-sweet way, and you...
like a bee trying to tell me where my life is headed it's towards you
Hello, whatchamacallit! It's Vilnius with a review.I liked the content. You really described the narrator's adoration in an epic and complete way.The only major issue I have-- and this is with many works of stream-of-consciousness writing, including a few private ones I've done-- is that after a while, my eyes start to wander.(Yes, I understand that the poems are meant to be this way; I like the theory, but normally not the reality. It's kinda like Communism in most cases.)Beyond that, like I said, I really like the content, especially the part in Line 11 that runs ''honey fills my lungs.''Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!
Hi there! You did a great job conveying the buzzing, ecstatic feeling that comes from loving someone, and it's blatantly happy in a way that other love poems aren't. Most love poems speak of a more delicate, fragile kind of love (which is also a wonderful thing to speak of), but this poem is so bold and colorful, though no less sophisticated. The line, "you make my chest ache but in a sweet way, not a bittersweet way just a honey-sweet way" emphasizes how complete the narrator's adoration of their loved one is. Additionally, I really like the flow of the poem, like it would be spoken in one long breath. It adds to the concept of being so deeply in love that you can't get everything about your love out fast enough because there's just so much of it. Well done!
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