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12+

Gollum’s Path

by waywardxwallflower


A sweet serenade.

Clamouring syllables aching to be heard,

but the corks in our ears prevent it.

A composition of earth, melody of the sky,

each feathered note clashing together in glorious discord.

Home is not a thousand sounds of chaotic harmony.

Warmth is found in the icy water and in the

breezes that shriek softly as they slice our skin.

Deeper and deeper we crawl, away from it all,

away from the beauty of the comforting but uncaring topsoil.

She looks disappointed, but all we can see

are the stones over our eyes,

blinding us to the harsh nature

of the runaway. 


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19 Reviews


Points: 8
Reviews: 19

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Mon May 10, 2021 3:34 pm
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Phillauthet wrote a review...



This poem is amazing! Why have I not seen any of your works before??

Your word choice is also great, like where you say 'feathered note'.


There's a lot of personification, which makes it all the more interesting.
There are also oxymorons used. Though they enhance the point, I think that some are too contradictory.
For example, in the part where you say
'breezes that shriek softly as they slice our skin.', shriek softly just sounds a little weird to me.

That's just what I feel, what you do in your poem is totally your wish.

Anyway, the poem was great! Keep Writing!!






Thanks so much!! And I'll definitely take that into note :)



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Points: 163
Reviews: 2

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Sat May 08, 2021 7:19 am
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slubbs24 says...



"Deeper and deeper we crawl, away from it all,"

wow I loved this line.






thanks!!




Writing is my soul made tangible on paper.
— bluewaterlily