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Young Writers Society


12+ Violence Mature Content

What’s lurking in school?

by vampricone6783


*This story is underneath my folder titled “Cassie’s horrors”.  The story that had the first appearance of the main character is called “31 horrendous Halloween tales” and is under my folder titled “31 Halloween tales” in case you want to check it out. Gacha Club character designs are under my forum titled “My character designs <33”. Enjoy!*



Introduction

Cassie stared at her own mangled, distorted body. She lost the bathroom pass to Ms. Henswick’s class, but she hadn’t expected the teacher to literally kill her.

Ms. Henswick had taken Cassie to a supply closet and contorted into a monstrous, hulking thing that slashed and ravaged at her like a dog with rabies and dinosaur DNA.

Well, Cassie wasn’t entirely alone. She had the girl-creature in the bathroom that was stealing all of the passes. Perhaps, the thing could be her friend…

Maybe.

Chapter One

Night had fallen. Likewise, the school was completely empty, except for Cassie and the bathroom creature.

Cassie floated down the hall as a ghost would, to the girls’ bathroom.

Once in the bathroom, she floated up to the flesh-creature that sat on top of a pile of bathroom passes, salvia dripping off of its toothy, carnivorous mouth.

“I’m Cassie. W-What’s your n-n-name?” Cassie sputtered. Even though she was already dead, she still wondered if the creature was capable of harming a spirit.

To her surprise, the thing grinned as earnestly as one of her peers would, and exclaimed in a cheerful, rasping voice:

“iT’s…sO..wOnDeRfUl..tO…mEeT yOu…cAssIe! mY nAmE iS…MoRgAnA.”

Morgana took one of the bathroom passes from the pile and scraped it against the wall, just like Cassie had seen her do earlier, and from the scratching of the bathroom passes, a hole opened up to a sprawling green forest sprinkled with flowers.

“cOmE!” Morgana cried out, taking hold of Cassie’s hand without warning and thrusting her into the other side.

Chapter Two

“What was that? Why did you just pull me in? What…”

Cassie stopped speaking, breath taken away by the infinite Elysium that was the forest, the blue sky seeming to kiss the green trees.

“I fOunD tHis pLaCe aFteR dEaTh. We’ll bE sAfE hErE.” Morgana gurgled.

The poor flesh-girl shivered, as congested thoughts were running through her mind. Cassie thought back to Ms. Henswick, and wondered if Morgana went through the same thing.

Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to ask?

Chapter Three

“Did Ms. Henswick kill you?” Cassie asked.

Morgana stopped walking. Her glassy, large eyes seemed to get larger on her torn face. Morgana nodded, then, she took Cassie’s hand and squeezed it comfortingly.

“I hAvE a pLaN tO sToP heR. TrUst mE.” She choked out.

Cassie didn’t look like a creature, but whatever Ms. Henswick did to Morgana had severely altered her forever.

Why? Why did Ms. Henswick do it? And, more importantly, what was Ms. Henswick?

Chapter Four

“ShE dOeSn’ T liKe tHiS pLaCe. It fRighTeNs hEr. AlL wE hAvE tO dO iS tRaP hEr hErE. tHE oNly wAy tO tRaP hER iS iF sHE dIES. ThEn hEr sPirIt wILl bE bOUnd. wE hAvE tO kiLl hEr.” Morgana said.

All they had to do? All they had to do? Ms. Henswick knew of the place’s existence, she’d know to avoid it. She would be able to outrun them, she was a demon, and they were only ghost adolescents.

“Really? We’re dead. There’s not much we can do in death.” Cassie said.

Didn’t Morgana think it through? Wasn’t she dead longer than Cassie?

“YOu dOn’T kNoW tHaT.” Morgana said with a grin.

Chapter Five

FLASHBACK

Morgana scratched the bathroom pass against the tiled pink wall. She found out on accident that the wall led to another place, a place of a green garden.

It wasn’t working. Why was she only imagining? Was it even possible? Was-

“Going somewhere?”

Morgana froze. She recognized the voice as Ms. Henswick’s, but what was she doing in the girls’ bathroom?

“I was just-“

Ms. Henswick grabbed Morgana by her shoulder and threw her against the wall. Somehow, no one heard Morgana scream.

Not even when Ms. Henswick began to slash through her body like a wild animal on steroids.

Chapter Six

Morgana dug her hand deep into the Earth, holding Cassie’s hand as she did so.

Without warning, they both plunged deep into the hole Morgana made.

Grass, dirt, worms, maggots, and much more of the Earthly foundation flew in Cassie’s face, all of which would have given her conjunctivitis if she were alive.

Thank goodness I’m dead. Cassie thought to herself.

Chapter Seven

They made it to the end of the dirt tunnel and back at the school. Only, they weren’t in the girls’ bathroom, but in the hallway of the first floor.

A looming, hulking silhouette stood at the end, but then, it evaporated right in front of their eyes.

“Ms. HeNswIcK’s hEaRt iS iN tHe wAlLs. We HaVe tO FinD iT aND cRuSh iT.” Morgana said.

“That’s all?” Cassie asked, uncertain.

“YEs.” Morgana replied.

Without another word, Cassie followed Morgana.

Chapter Eight

“I don’t understand. What is she and what does she want?” Cassie asked.

Morgana and Cassie were feeling around the walls for cracks, so that they could find Ms. Henswick’s heart, but still, the idea that Cassie’s own history teacher was a monster had unanswered questions that tug at the veins in her body.

“Ms. HEnsWiCk?” Morgana asked, just to clarify.

Cassie nodded.

“BlOoD. FoOd. I dOn’T knOw, eXacTly, bUT tHAt’s whAt I tHinK.” Morgana replied.

It sounded just about right, but still…why?

Chapter Nine

Cassie stopped. She felt a crack in the wall, a deep, gnashing dent in the structure.

“Morgana, I feel something!” Cassie called out.

Upon hearing her words, Morgana ran over to her and pushed Cassie aside, rushing to break open the crack with such a paranoid frenzy Cassie forgot for a moment that she was looking at a girl and not a starving animal.

Chapter Ten

From out of the dent, Morgana pulled out a blackened, dried heart, incrusted with dust and mold.

Cassie had to squint her eyes to make sure that the heart really was a heart and not a rock.

Chapter Eleven

FLASHBACK

Out of the rubble, from the dirt, there came a slick clawed hand covered in clear goo. The hand pushed further up, revealing a woman with long, black hair, bulging brown eyes, and light sepia toned skin that stretched over her bones, giving her a sallow appearance.

Her pink dress was withered, covered in mud and dotted with blood. The woman grinned a sharp-toothed, flesh-ridden grin.

Finally, she was free.

Chapter Twelve

Cassie got up from the ground and watched as Morgana crushed the heart with her claws, the pieces falling off to the ground.

It’s all over. We’re free. We can-

Ms. Henswick screeched from the raspiness of the blood in her throat.

Chapter Thirteen

“You dare try to kill me?! You think that you can stop me?!” Ms. Henswick cried out.

Thunderous running resounded throughout the halls, fueled with determination and anger. Cassie wished with all her might that she would disappear, but she was still in the school, reliving her nightmare yet again.

Ms. Henswick’s heels clacked frenziedly down the halls.

Chapter Fourteen

“I, a demon, came from the Hells of Earth to wage war against the weak, and I will NOT be defied by TWO LITTLE GIRLS!” Ms. Henswick cried out.

Morgana and Cassie stood next to each other, taking a fighting stance. So Ms. Henswick wouldn’t back down? Neither would they.

Hiding was over. It was time to fight.

Chapter Fifteen

Ms. Henswick, in her ghastly, flesh-twisted form, ran right in front of them, ready to snatch their souls, claws sharpened to kill.

Morgana and Cassie, already dead, ran towards her, fighting to protect the lives of future students that were to come.

Chapter Sixteen

Morgana and Cassie slashed at Ms. Henswick’s skin, blood spewing from their claws. She screeched in pain, feverishly trying to rip apart their flesh.

But the girls, they were already dead. Already, she had killed them. One could not kill again, after all.

Chapter Seventeen

Cassie and Morgana watched as Ms. Henswick withered and shivered, a mound of shaking flesh on the linoleum floor.

“YoU dEsTrOyeD mE, bUT nOW…no more.” Morgana said.

Cassie jumped. It was the first time she had heard Morgana speak coherently, and her voice sounded…more human, more alive.

Chapter Eighteen

“I came from the darkest nightmares and your evil heart. I cannot die, no matter how much you hurt me, for I am…” Ms. Henswick’s words trailed off, a line of blood leaving her lips.

“I am Edliyah, the demon of your terrors. There are more of me, but we are inside. Inside your minds and hearts. The very negative-“

Edliyah crumbled to dust, her monologue ending.

Chapter Nineteen

“Do you think she meant anything like that? Or was it all just talk?” Cassie asked.

Morgana was only a girl, just like her. She didn’t have all of the answers, but still, Cassie wanted to ask.

“I don’t know. My guess is that she means both. I used to have nightmares about this demon, Edilyah, so much so that she became real…Everyone has their demons.” Morgana said.

“She’s your demon?” Cassie asked. She could not believe that Morgana had only just told her, that all the time they spent looking for Edilyah, Morgana didn’t say where she came from.

But both girls had begun to break apart and fade away into gold, like glorified dust rising into the sky, off to the afterlife.

Chapter Twenty

FLASHBACK

Morgana focused on the woman in the corner of her room. The woman with the clawed hands, the woman with the glowing eyes.

Edilyah. She wouldn’t leave. Not unless Morgana squinted her eyes and thought hard enough.

There, Edilyah was beginning to disappear, to fade away…

She was going away!

Epilogue

No longer held down to the past, Cassie and Morgana were in the field of flowers, where the sky was always blue and the air was still and clear.

But even though Edilyah was gone, there were more. More of them festering in the deepest parts of everyone’s minds, more that would take formation, that would become real if left unchecked.

It was up to the humans to decide if they wanted the demons to win or lose.


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1589 Reviews

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Mon Oct 07, 2024 12:36 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hey vampricone! Icy here for a quick review today :)

I like the plot of this one, and there's some really cool language you've used to make this super creepy and eerie. The word 'festering' was a particular favourite of mine here.

I'd like to see some more description of the setting in a lot of these chapters - especially early on. That really helps me to picture what's going on. At the moment your strength in making things scary is a lot through the characters and I'd like to see that extended to description of the places too. Perhaps practise by writing a piece that's only description, without any characters, and see how that goes.

I also don't think you needed to write 'flashback'. For me, the italics were enough to signify it was happening at a different time!

Happy Monday!

Icy




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Wed Sep 11, 2024 2:13 pm
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DeadMenTe11N0Tales wrote a review...



Okay, to begin with, WOW.

What I liked:

-The last line, gosh it sent a chill down my spine

- How detailed the deaths were, I like gore. I could imagine what was happening

- The whole vibe of the story, spooky but it stands out from the crowd.


What could've been better:

-The length of the chapters, I would have liked them to be longer.

other that that I have no complaints!

Keep writing, keep being you!




vampricone6783 says...


So glad you enjoyed!



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Mon Aug 26, 2024 8:09 pm
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xenonr says...



Hey let me drop a little review of ur work it really pulled me in thought out the time I was reading it. Here's some critics to it.


Strengths:
Atmosphere: The setting is very creepy and vivid, it really pulls readers in.
Character Development: Cassie and Morgana are well-developed, and their bond feels strong and emotional.
Pacing: The short chapters keep the story moving fast and hold the tension well.

Where u can improve:
Dialogue: Morgana’s way of talking is hard to follow sometimes. Maybe make it a bit clearer, so it’s easier to understand.
Backstory: More details about how Ms. Henswick became a demon would make the conflict more interesting.
Thematic Depth: The idea of personal demons is interesting, but it could be explored more in the story to make it stronger.

Keep writing...




vampricone6783 says...


Glad you enjoyed!




Ghosts, demons, and ghouls cannot scare the cat's underling.
— TheMulticoloredCyr