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Vicky Gladys’ origin: The Playground

by vampricone6783

*This is the origin of a character from my “The Playground” stories. You can find the rest of these stories under my “The Playground” folder. This character’s story is more detailed in my story “The Playground”, so you can read it if you’d like. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy and Happy near October!*

Once, there was a six year old girl named Vicky, who was with a seven year old boy named Samuel. The two of them heard the legend of the clown and his bride. At 12:30 A.M. , the local playground would become haunted with their spirits, searching for children to kidnap and kill.

Legend had it that the playground used to be a circus in the 1900s and the clown performed there. A lady had gone there and they had fallen in love.

But the woman’s family didn’t want her to go be with him, so they kicked her out of their home.

She was homeless and lived behind his circus tent. The clown would talk to her and give her food to survive and they had fallen in love.

They were going to get married at the circus…

But a group of kids accidentally killed them in a prank gone wrong.

So, after a lot of persuading with their parents, Vicky and Samuel were at the playground, following a rotting woman named Juliet, who said she was the woman from the legend.

She seemed nice, though. Surely, she wouldn’t hurt them, right?


They reached a carnival after all that walking, a carnival behind the playground, one they had never seen before.

“I want you to meet my groom.” Juliet said to the kids, a wicked smile on her face…

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461 Reviews

Points: 6251
Reviews: 461

Sat Sep 30, 2023 3:25 pm
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Horisun wrote a review...

Hello, and happy Review Day! Hope you're having a good one so far!

I really enjoyed this read. I liked that it felt rather straightforward, but still maintained that slight darker element. It reminded me a lot of a story you'd tell around a campfire while roasting s'mores! Especially that last line-

“I want you to meet my groom.” Juliet said to the kids, a wicked smile on her face…

-being such a great closer! It works well as a conclusion to this story.

I do wish there was a little more build up. I'd like to get inside the kids heads and really see things from their perspective. You have a small tendency to tell the readers what's up, rather than showing them, and it would go a long way to helping readers be immersed if your exposition was a tad more dispersed.

Having your readers "walk in your character's shoes" so to speak, can go a long way to building suspense. The kids in this story are relatively interchangeable, and as macabre as it sounds, I don't really care when they die. We don't really spend enough time with them, nor do we know anything about who they are and what they want. A huge part of horror is tragedy, and a huge part of tragedy is characters not realizing their goals.

That might just be my take, though. As it stands, this is a cute bite sized story with a zinger for an ending! I really enjoyed reading it, as always.

With all that said, keep on writing, and have a great day! :D

vampricone6783 says...

You can check out more of this story in my folder titled %u201CThe Playground%u201D.

Thank you for reading.

User avatar
218 Reviews

Points: 11234
Reviews: 218

Sat Sep 30, 2023 12:47 am
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EllieMae wrote a review...

Hi there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Hey Friend!!! Ellie here to leave you a review. I have seen lots of your lovely posts here of YWS but havent gotten time to read lots of them. No better day to start than today! Lets get right into it:

*also, just wanted to say that i love all of the characters i see you posting! you are so creative! it inspires me!*

Top Graham Cracker - What I Know
Alrighty, here is my understanding: there is a six-year-old girl named Vicky and a seven-year-old boy named Samuel. This story gets spooky and talks about the legend of the clown and his bride. oh boy! the clown and his bride got killed accidently in a prank by some kids. Vicky and samuel finally convince their parents to let them go to this playground and followed a women name Juliet who says she is the women in the story. WOW! and what a cliffhanger that ends on! Id have to say, this is the most spooky story i have read on YWS!

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - Room for Improvements
I would love to know WHY Vicky and Samuel decided to follow the rotting women, Juliet. I would have run away haha XD, your writing is amazing though! the story is great and has such an interesting plot! I am so intrigued! I would also love to hear more details about how the characters look and the setting :)

Chocolate Bar - Highlights of the Piece
I love how creative you are. I admire how you can come up with soooo many plots! You develop the story well and i cant wait to hear whatb happens next!

Closing Graham Cracker - Closing Thoughts
I love this! I cant wait to read more!!! Have an awesome day!
-Ellie Mae

vampricone6783 says...

If you want to read more of this story, you can check out my folder titled %u201CThe Playground%u201D.

Thank you for reading!

I feel like if I was the mafia I’d leave a voicemail.
— Tuckster