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The doll:part two

by vampricone6783


*This is part two of my story “The doll”. The dolls mentioned in this story are inspired off of real dolls that I own. The only difference is that the real dolls aren’t haunted. I have Gacha Club character designs on my wall. Enjoy!*



Chapter One

It was on a December night when nineteen year old Victoria Leana heard a strange noise in her bedroom…

Chapter Two

Victoria turned the light on in her room and exhaled in relief when she saw that it was only a bloody ten year old girl in a green dress with a stitched up mouth and her mother, Karina.

The little girl’s name was Rose or as the urban legend called her, ”Shut your mouth Rose.” Victoria had met Rose two years ago in the house and she used to be scared of her, but she had gotten used to her company.

She met Karina two months ago, on October seventeenth. The woman had just appeared in her room one day and told her that she didn’t feel comfortable to show herself (and still didn’t) but decided it would be best to stay and watch over Rose, to take care of her and make sure she didn’t get into any trouble.

Yes, Rose was that kind of ghost. A mischievous poltergeist. She loved to mess with humans.

Karina looked directly at Victoria, which always gave her goosebumps, because she looked like she could see into Victoria’s soul and said:

“Get out of the house. There are other ghosts coming. I’m not sure if they’re friendly. But you’ll get out if you know what’s good for you.”



Chapter Three

Victoria didn’t listen to Karina. Instead, she rolled out of bed and took out a flashlight from her nightstand drawer.

If there were other ghosts in the house, she wouldn’t pack her bags and go somewhere else like a coward would.

She was going to go check it out.

Victoria made sure to walk down the halls silently, so she wouldn’t wake her sleeping parents.

Chapter Four

After searching the entire house and finding nothing, absolutely nothing, Victoria decided to give up and head to bed.

“M-m-m-m-iss? H-h-e-l—p-“

A child. Whimpering.

“Hey kid, it’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.” Victoria reassured, slowly turning around.

She knew that whoever was whimpering was a ghost, because her house was old and definitely haunted, haunted with more ghosts than Rose and Karina. Rose was also a young kid, but her mouth was all stitched up, so she couldn’t speak. Well, she could use telepathy, but she hated that, so she mostly stayed silent.

This child, though. This was a new one. Another ghost in need of Victoria’s help.

And she’d be there to help.



Chapter Five

When Victoria turned around, she saw a blond, bleeding little girl in a light pink dress, holding a porcelain doll in a silver tiara, who was wearing a pink dress similar to the young girl’s, only paler. The girl and the doll both had sparkling blue eyes.

Seeing the doll brought back memories of Rose. Rose used to possess a porcelain doll with brown curls and a green dress. The doll also wore a green bow in her hair. Rose’s doll was slightly taller than this girl’s doll.

But Rose’s doll was crushed, so that her soul would be saved. (Also because she was too strong possessing the doll.)

It seemed like the girl was a free soul and didn’t need to have the doll destroyed, unlike Rose, who did. In fact, the girl was pretty weak and vulnerable compared to Rose.

Victoria smiled at the girl.

“I’m Victoria. What’s your name?” She asked softly, but before she could talk, an equally bleeding and blond woman in a long, blue dress said shortly:

“Her name is Molly. Molly Hellens. I’m Samantha Hellens.”

“Okay, geez. No need to be so cold with me.” Victoria said.

Samantha raised an eyebrow and asked with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes:

“Why not? I’m the girl’s mother and she’s-she’s sitting here, scared of you and here you are, approaching her. You, a stranger, approaching my daughter. How am I supposed to know you won’t hurt her?”

Victoria shrugged.

“Fair enough I guess. But could you at least tell me about yourselves? I’ve got other ghosts who live with me too and this is the first time I’ve seen you too. It’d be nice to have an introduction.”

“I already told you me and my daughter’s name, what more introduction do you demand?”

“Mommy-“

“Molly, dear, let’s go-“

“I want to talk to her. She seems nice.”

“So did that man and look at where it got us.”

“Mommy, please?”

“Fine. But I’m keeping my eyes on her.”

“Okay, thanks!”

“You’re welcome, my sweet princess.”

Chapter Six

As Victoria and Molly were walking to Victoria’s bedroom to chat, Molly roughly grabbed Victoria’s wrist and pulled her into a corner.

“Victoria? I..I’ve been here for so long and..it’s so cold and lonely in this house..I haven’t been able to talk to anyone…”

“But there are other ghosts in this house. I know because I’ve spoken to them.”

“I didn’t know that. But anyway, can I please tell you what happened to me?”

“Of course.“

“A scary man with black hair…he murdered me. He murdered my parents too. He’s got black hair and a creepy smile-“

“Black hair and a creepy smile?” Karina asked from behind, scaring the daylights out of Molly and Victoria.



Chapter Seven

Molly nodded her head. Karina sighed, looking nervous. Why?

Samantha walked into the corner of the hallway they were all standing in and from the look on her face, Victoria could tell that she had been eavesdropping. But she didn't care.

"The man, was his name...Rhian?" Karina asked Samantha.

"Yes. How did you know?" Samantha asked.

"I..I was married to a man named Rhian. He matches your daughter's description of him. We had Rose together, but we were poor. We didn't know it at the time, but he had joined a satanic cult to kill people and gain money from it. It's how he got money to get Rose a doll for her birthday and how he bought this house, too. Then, he killed us." Karina said. She let the words seep into everyone’s minds. She let them process what was being said.

Victoria felt lucky that both of her parents loved her.

Samantha stiffened.

"What's wrong?" Karina asked.

"Do you remember that my

husband was the younger brother of Rhian? He was playing the piano for me and Molly, when all of a sudden he came in.." Samantha eyed Victoria, assessing her. She seemed to be making a decision on whether she should tell Victoria to leave or not.

"Yes, of course I remember!" Karina exclaimed, as if it were the most important thing in the world. In many ways, it was.

Samantha nodded her head to Karina’s words. But a quick glance at Victoria said that she was alright with the presence of a teen girl. She continued with her story:

"He came in and slashed my husband's throat with glass shards. Then, he threw me in a piano and hurt Molly.."

"We haven't seen my husband since. I don't know where he is. Molly's been very scared and worried about him. I've tried to comfort her, but she still gets scared." Samantha said.

As if on cue, Molly hugged Samantha, causing her to soften and hug her back.

Chapter Eight

A loud THUMP came from upstairs.

Victoria’s parents still slept soundly. They were heavy sleepers. They could even sleep through ghosts in their house and loud noises.



Chapter Nine

A man appeared next to Victoria..

“You. Rhian.” Samantha and Karina said together, gritting. Neither liked his presence and with good reason.

Rhian smiled.

“Yes, it’s me.” He smiled wickedly.



Chapter Ten

Before Victoria could even think, Samantha and Karina snapped their fingers and Rhian disappeared.

“Our killer. We made him disappear. No, don’t ask anymore questions. Look outside! The sun is coming up! It’s going to be morning!” Samantha and Karina said rather quickly and in unison.

Victoria looked out the window and realized that it was morning.

Maybe, she’d just leave the ghosts alone for now and wait for her parents to wake up.

Then, she could live a “normal” life as best as she could.

Because the entire night for her was weird.



The dolls in real life:

Front of Rose’s doll:

Back of Rose’s doll:



Front of Molly’s doll:

Back of Molly’s doll:


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1177 Reviews

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Mon Jan 30, 2023 8:26 pm
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hey again vampricone! I'm going to start by saying I again don't think you need chapters for this one as it's a short piece - maybe you could use some of your character designs as spacers instead?

Anyway, onto the actual review!

She met Karina two months ago, on October seventeenth. The woman had just appeared in her room one day and told her that she didn’t feel comfortable to show herself (and still didn’t) but decided it would be best to stay and watch over Rose, to take care of her and make sure she didn’t get into any trouble

I know you're referring to something that already happened so don't want to take too much time on it but I found this a bit hard to follow so perhaps you could expand on it a bit.

I'd also love to hear more about the telepathy you mention in this - it's such a casual, throwaway remark but it would be interesting to learn how it works with the ghosts.

I'm surprised Victoria thinks she can live a normal life in the morning. The day might be normal, but what's to stop the next night being just as strange?

I think for me the biggest thing missing in this story is emotion - I want to know how your characters are feeling through what they say or do, not just from being told, does that make sense? I liked your characters and the plot is interesting, so I think this could just bring it to that next level.

Hope this helped!

Icy




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Mon Jan 23, 2023 2:51 pm
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foxmaster wrote a review...



Hello! I am here to leave a review.
"Victoria turned the light on in her room and exhaled in relief when she saw that it was only a bloody ten year old girl in a green dress with a stitched up mouth and her mother, Karina.

The little girl’s name was Rose or as the urban legend called her, ”Shut your mouth Rose.” Victoria had met Rose two years ago in the house and she used to be scared of her, but she had gotten used to her company.

She met Karina two months ago, on October seventeenth. The woman had just appeared in her room one day and told her that she didn’t feel comfortable to show herself (and still didn’t) but decided it would be best to stay and watch over Rose, to take care of her and make sure she didn’t get into any trouble.

Yes, Rose was that kind of ghost. A mischievous poltergeist. She loved to mess with humans.

Karina looked directly at Victoria, which always gave her goosebumps, because she looked like she could see into Victoria’s soul and said:

'Get out of the house. There are other ghosts coming. I’m not sure if they’re friendly. But you’ll get out if you know what’s good for you.'"
Ohhh that is a very good beginning and a very nice cliffhanger. I can automatically tell something important is going to happen.
"If there were other ghosts in the house, she wouldn’t pack her bags and go somewhere else like a coward would."
I like how Victoria is very brave and will obviously either save the house or die and join the ghosts.
“I’m Victoria. What’s your name?” She asked softly,"
awww you make me feel bad for the ghost.
“A scary man with black hair…he murdered me. He murdered my parents too. He’s got black hair and a creepy smile-“
oooh and now we know Victoria is probably gonna confront him.
"I..I was married to a man named Rhian. He matches your daughter's description of him. We had Rose together, but we were poor. We didn't know it at the time, but he had joined a satanic cult to kill people and gain money from it. It's how he got money to get Rose a doll for her birthday and how he bought this house, too. Then, he killed us." Karina said. She let the words seep into everyone’s minds. She let them process what was being said."
Great word choice.
"Before Victoria could even think, Samantha and Karina snapped their fingers and Rhian disappeared.

“Our killer. We made him disappear. No, don’t ask anymore questions. Look outside! The sun is coming up! It’s going to be morning!” Samantha and Karina said rather quickly and in unison.

Victoria looked out the window and realized that it was morning.

Maybe, she’d just leave the ghosts alone for now and wait for her parents to wake up.

Then, she could live a “normal” life as best as she could.

Because the entire night for her was weird."
That part was good, if a little rushed. OVERALL: great job! and thank you for reviewing my work! :)
Foxmaster.





To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.
— Allen Ginsberg