Hey vampricone, I'm just popping by for a quick review on these lyrics!
I like that you've chosen some lyrics that all consist of a series of short and concise lines, each expressing a specific thought or emotion. That style coupled with your use of repetition - like "I’ve/I'm/I and Yes, the at the beginning of multiple lines, creates a sense of emphasis and intensity. The whole thing being short but quite punchy is reflective of the style of a lot of your stories, so I think that ties together well.
The hint of darkness and a transformation from being a victim Years ago, I was hurt to becoming the one who inflicts harm Now, I’m the one who’s a killer also ties back to a lot of the short stories I've read!
To perhaps make the lyrics a little more engaging, you could use vivid imagery and descriptive language to create a deeper emotional impact. Also, the lyrics being quite short mean we don't get much emotional development from the character but there's clearly a larger backstory here - maybe you could consider building the lyrics with a more gradual progression of feelings. This could create a stronger connection with the character's development, making the final lines more impactful.
Hope this was helpful!
Icy
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