Hello Vampricone this is gem here leaving a review!
You write like a true script writer, with an emphasis on dialogue and its meaning. However, I think that if you focused on bringing us into the scene of a particular story, just one chapter and expanding on it and giving us the imagery of the setting and the characters body language movement and even facial expressions, it would definitely make it a bit easier to capture the full attention of your audience/readers.
In the dialogue in the second story, you give your character a hesitation in dialogue that is very human. I say that is probably my favorite scene as it communicates well that the character is nervous and scared!
Doing one chapter at a time is by no means simple or anything less than posting several together it just gives you a chance to expand on your characters and give your readers more of a connection to the story and environment! I cant wait to see what else you do in the future!
Keep writing! This is gem signing off!
gem- he/him~
Points: 618
Reviews: 100
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