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Lorona-The misadventures of a man named Lucifer

by vampricone6783

*The last origin story from my story:”The misadventures of a man named Lucifer.” This is actually a scenario in the real story,but I felt like telling it here.I have Gacha Club character designs on my wall.Enjoy! :)

Once upon a time,there was a woman named Lorona.She was sixty years old,but didn't retire from working at her toy shop.She loved her job too much.She especially loved it when the little ones received their toys,with smiles on their faces.That brought warmth to her heart.

When Lorona died peacefully of old age,she became a guardian angel,whose physical form was an old rag doll,with one button eye and a yellow dress.This doll was her favorite doll in life,the one she had since she was little,so it was only fair that it would be her form from now on.

Lorona had watched over a young man named Lucifer,who looked as if he desperately needed someone to watch over him.He was a very angry man.From the information she got about him,it was probably because he lost his sister and can't remember her,but knowing he lost someone.Therefore,he is always feeling like something is missing from his life.

Lorona knew just what to do.

She had him meet Auirella.People would have called it fate,but it was all because of her.She'd seem like someone who would bring joy to his life.

But Lucifer was still lost and angry.

Lorona knew his sister,Vanessa,was still alive.She also knew that she was a witch who'd teach him a lesson.

So,she had him meet Vanessa,who cursed him to be his greatest fear...a woman.He would become himself once he learned the error of his ways.

Lorona smiled from above,in Heaven,satisfied.To make sure things were going as planned,Lorona took on her usual human form (an older woman,Lucifer's neighbor) and descended to Earth.

She went to her apartment that was next to Lucifer's.

When Lucifer (in his female form) offered to help her take out the trash and didn't yell at her (for once),she said:

"You're so much nicer than that man. Here,have this."

She handed him a $100 dollar bill."Wait,you're giving this to me?" He asked.

"You deserve it." She told him.

Then,she staggered into her apartment,leaving him stunned,holding the dollar bill.

Little did he know she was actually his guardian angel.

Lorona was satisfied with her work.

Even though guardian angels aren't supposed to show themselves to the people they are taking care of,she wished she could.She wanted to be thanked for her good deeds,to be recognized.

Lorona sighed.Maybe next time.

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Points: 190
Reviews: 2

Sun Apr 17, 2022 3:03 am
ZongzhengJinghang wrote a review...

Hi, Jinghang here!

I thought the protagonist here is very heart-warming. I know this is an origins story from another story of yours, and the short and to-the-point descriptions really serve this purpose well. I liked how you knitted "mini-synopsis" into this origins story, telling the readers a bit of background about what I assume to be plot points in the actual story. However, one thing I noticed is the sentence "Little did he know that she knew that he was that man and she was actually his guardian angel" sounded a bit weird with know, knew, and 3 thats. I personally feel like it is implied a guardian angel would know who they should protect, so maybe something like "Little did he know that she was actually his guardian angel" would be a bit easier to read? Overall, this is an interesting story.

vampricone6783 says...

Oh okay! Thanks for the review.I%u2019ll fix this.

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688 Reviews

Points: 54925
Reviews: 688

Thu Mar 03, 2022 4:26 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

Wait what, this series ended very quickly but it was indeed a very interesting series of origin stories. Talking about this in particular, I think Lorona is quite a good character as we can see from her behaviours and everything. She seems to be very invested in helping people without thinking of herself too often. Yes of course, she thought of herself when she wanted fruits of her good actions but that can't really be counted as a very fatal flaw.

Okay now to the plot. I don't know but in the beginning I felt that Lorona actually caused damage to Lucifer's life by bringing in Auirella in his life. Like she thought that it would do good but hm... It's totally going to cause a lot of damage to his life and Auriella's life too. And now we have Venessa. Well, very frankly I didn't get the portion of Venessa and Lucifer's interaction. This portion I mean:

So,she had him meet Vanessa,who cursed him to be his greatest fear...a woman.He would become himself once he learned the error of his ways.

I feel that it was glossed over and it was a bit unclear too, the first line especially. And I didn't understand how the second sentence is related to the first. I would very much appreciate a but if clarification on that thing. Did you mean that Lucifer cursed Venessa because she was a woman ir something? And also, what was Venessa's reaction when she met Lucifer? Was she happy? She should be but many years have passed. So changes can indeed occur.

Two more things now: First, how did the woman get that money? Arr angwls just offered money like that? And second, the femalw fo of Lucifer. Why was he in his female form? Without any reason? And they can even change their appearances and voice on their will? That's rather interesting.

Overall, I had a very good read. Although the plot is quite intriguing, we got the feeling of happiness from this particular origin story. I really liked that. And sorry for those hundred thousand questions, I just can't stop myself from asking those xD

Keep Writing!


vampricone6783 says...

Well,it all becomes clearer once you read the main story.This story is a scenario in the actual story from Lorona%u2019s perspective.

And don%u2019t apologize for asking questions.It%u2019s nice to see people interested in my stories.:)

Don't gobblefunk around with words.
— Roald Dahl