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16+ Violence Mature Content

I love (hate) you, father (William’s song for Lucas)

by vampricone6783


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.

*This song takes place after my character, William, dies. It’s from my “Town of Richardson” stories. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*

I love (hate) you, father

You would never leave me (you left me)

You’d never hurt me (You murdered me!)


I can’t believe you’re so kind (I can’t believe you left me behind)


I trust that you care about me (How could you?)


I trust that you do love me (Why did you leave me?)


I love (hate) you, father

And I can’t believe you’re so kind (I can’t believe you left me behind)


I want you to know I’d always love you (I want you to know I’m never going to forget you)

I want you to know I’ll always support you (I want you to know I’ll never forgive you)


I want you to know that I love (hate) you, father


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18 Reviews

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Reviews: 18

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Tue Mar 28, 2023 4:13 pm
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SkyJayde wrote a review...



Heyo! I’m gonna review these beautiful lyrics.

Before I begin, I wanted to say these lyrics are beautiful. They hold some much meaning. Great work.

Now let’s get to the review;
First off, I like how you started the lyrics with the title of the song. Things did take a dark turn however after the lyrics “You’d never hurt me (you murdered me)” I may not know the backstory but I do wish you continued this line before moving on.

Second, I noticed hidden messages within the lyrics. While the main part of the song is positive and kind, the lyrics in parentheses are saying a whole other thing. Which is interesting. I’m curious about how you managed to come up with this.

Thirdly, just a little nitpicking now. After the lyric “I trust that you care about me” I didn’t really see how thus lyric fit “How could you?” As I said before I don’t know the backstory behind this so maybe it’s there for a reason.

Overall, great lyrics. I love the biting message behind it. Keep up the great work! I’ll go check out the backstory for some more context.
☁️SkyJayde☁️




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Sun Mar 26, 2023 7:32 am
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cookiesandcream123 wrote a review...



Hii!

This is a really nice song/poem, and I also like the hidden messages. The lyrics are simple but spooky, and judging by how innocently sweet the non-parentheses lyrics sound, I'm guessing it's from the view of a young child? Which makes the "You murdered me" part even darker... Overall, it's very chilling. Makes me curious about the backstory!

I'm not an expert on lyrics or poetry, so you can take the following feedback with a grain of salt, but I think the 5th lyric in parantheses is a bit off. It's a little shorter compared to the others; usually the other paranthese lyrics have a similar rhythm / number of syllables to the non-parenthese part.

However, it's not that important and just a nitpicky thing. So overall, great poem! I really wanna know more and if I have time, I'll totally read the backstory.




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Sun Mar 26, 2023 2:38 am
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Snoink wrote a review...



Haha, oof, the hidden messages behind this one! Though, I have to say how sarcastic and biting it is. My one question is... this line:

You’d never hurt me (You murdered me!)


LIKE. I realize that this might not be so lyrical or maybe this is already explained in the book or something, but... MURDER??? I sort of wish you continued on with this whole idea and kind of described the murder in more detail, just because it's pretty epic. The other stuff is sarcastic and biting, but I think you can really make it have some oomph of its own by using specific details and bringing out the goriness of the whole situation.

Plus, there's like... tons of revenge songs that are great because they are oddly specific and detailed and honestly a bit shocking because of this, so you can totally do this. (A song that immediately comes to mind, because there is this father/son dynamic that seems to be going on here is from the Decemberists "Hazards of Love" album where the three children that were killed by their father sing to him a revenge song of sorts in the song, "The Hazards of Love 3 (Revenge!)"

...okay, that rant was a lot longer than I intended it to be, lol.

STILL. Even with all of that said, I love the kind of snarkiness that goes on and basically the pretending that everything is fine (even when it clearly isn't) and even in death there's a sort of bitterness of having to live a double life where he has to pretend to be fine, even though his thoughts conflict. It's really neat... nicely done!




eva says...


hi :) I wanted to start off this review by acknowledging the personal touch that is has, while maybe being something private, it can resonate with a lot of other people. I would've liked ,however, a little more fluctuation between the verses, more rhymes. I think that this part "I can%u2019t believe you%u2019re so kind (I can%u2019t believe you left me behind)" is the best because it has a sort of finality to it. Keep up the great work!




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