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12+ Violence Mature Content

Gabriel and William get teleported to Shadow House…

by vampricone6783


*This is a short fanfic with characters from my “Town of Richardson” stories. You can look underneath my folder titled “Town of Richardson”. What is this a fanfic of, you ask? It’s a fanfic of the “Shadow House” stories. Gabriel and William are my characters, the rest are from the “Shadow House” stories. This particular story is underneath my folder titled “Some Scary-ish stories”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall, enjoy!*



William looked around, absolutely dazed. A second ago, he and Gabriel were at the circus. Then, magically, they were transported to an abandoned home, the doors all locked and the windows all shut.

On the bottom of the staircase was a young girl in a cat mask. Perhaps she could be of help?

“Hey cat girl, where’s the nearest exit?” William asked.

The girl, ever so helpful, ran up the staircase. William and Gabriel followed after her, but the very floor of the house began twisting and turning…

Gabriel held onto William’s arm tightly. He was shaking with fright, William could see that. He wished that he could tear off the stitches from Gabriel’s mouth so that he may be able to express his fear again, but such could not happen with ghosts.

Finally, the house tilted back to normal, except they were both in a different hallway.

Three kids stared up at them in shock. Two girls and one boy.

“You don’t look like any of the ghosts we’ve seen here so far.” The blond girl said.

“They’re not wearing any masks.” Added the black-haired girl.

“Who cares?! They’re still ghosts! One of them is a clown! Do you not see the danger that is right in front of us?” The boy asked.

“Yeah, I agree with Dash. We should leave.” The black-haired girl said.

The black-haired girl and Dash were about to leave, but the blond girl called out:

“Azumi! Dash! Wait!”

Gabriel felt as though the whole world was beginning to spin. William held onto him, so that he wouldn’t fall.

“What, Poppy?” Dash asked sharply.

“The veil between the dead and the living is thin in this house. They’re probably not from here.” Poppy said.

“Do I look like I care?” Dash asked.

“Now, just a minute. You can’t insult my friend like that, he’s been through more than you’ll ever know.” William said.

“Oh, really? He’s been through more than all of us? Him? The clown?” Dash asked.

Gabriel glanced at William, anxiety in his eyes, but William let go of him and charged at Dash.

The audacity he had to say that about his friend, to make him feel like a monster, to-

And just like that, they were back at the circus.


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Tue Jun 11, 2024 4:09 am
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KaeRae88 wrote a review...



Hey, KaeRae here! I love stories like this that grab my interest and make me want to know the back story... this one was a little scary, but full of chaos. (in a really good way) Anyways, let's get into it~

Beginning:

William looked around, absolutely dazed. A second ago, he and Gabriel were at the circus. Then, magically, they were transported to an abandoned home, the doors all locked(,) and the windows all shut.

On the bottom of the staircase was a young girl in a cat mask. Perhaps she could be of help?

“Hey cat girl, where’s the nearest exit?” William asked.

The girl, ever so helpful, ran up the staircase. William and Gabriel followed after her, but the very floor of the house began twisting and turning…

Gabriel held onto William’s arm tightly. He was shaking with fright, William could see that. He wished that he could tear off the stitches from Gabriel’s mouth so that he may be able to express his fear again, but such could not happen with ghosts.
Alright, we get the characters, and some parts of the setting. It's a little unhinging, (if that's a word XD) not knowing where they were before, what happened that made them teleport, or why Gabriel has stitches on his mouth?? That all adds to the suspense though. I really like your style of writing when it comes to 'horror' stories like this... Let me know if there are more like this that you have written because I want to read more --

Middle 1:
Finally, the house tilted back to normal, except they were both in a different hallway.

Three kids stared up at them in shock. Two girls and one boy.

“You don’t look like any of the ghosts we’ve seen here so far.” The blond girl said.

“They’re not wearing any masks.” Added the black-haired girl.

“Who cares?! They’re still ghosts! One of them is a clown! Do you not see the danger that is right in front of us?” The boy asked.

“Yeah, I agree with Dash. We should leave.” The black-haired girl said.

Woah, that's a little trippy... We got at first a teleportation, now a twisted hallway leads somewhere else. Your imagination is great haha. Also, can I just say, I like the way you introduce the characters; it's not sudden, or 'info dumping' it's laid out slowly, in a way that us readers can understand. We get a little more information here, but I am curious as to why the other kids are so laid back about seeing ghosts. They have seen some before, obviously, and they point out that Gabriel and William don't have masks, but why? I have so many questions... I demand a second part😆

Middle 2:
The black-haired girl and Dash were about to leave, but the blond girl called out:

“Azumi! Dash! Wait!”

Gabriel felt as though the whole world was beginning to spin. William held onto him, so that he wouldn’t fall.

“What, Poppy?” Dash asked sharply.

“The veil between the dead and the living is thin in this house. They’re probably not from here.” Poppy said.

“Do I look like I care?” Dash asked.

“Now, just a minute. You can’t insult my friend like that, he’s been through more than you’ll ever know.” William said.
Aw, we get a glimpse of William's character. Whoever Gabriel is to him, it is clear that he will stand up for him, and I admire that. We also get some tension in this part, and it really builds up the tension. I like that last line there,
he’s been through more than you’ll ever know.” William said.
Humans really need to stop judging others when we can never know or be in their shoes. I like the little lesson you bring in with this hectic story~

Ending:
“Oh, really? He’s been through more than all of us? Him? The clown?” Dash asked.

Gabriel glanced at William, anxiety in his eyes, but William let go of him and charged at Dash.

The audacity he had to say that about his friend, to make him feel like a monster, to-

And just like that, they were back at the circus.

Ahhhh, so many unsolved questions!! Again, we got Gabriel standing up for his friend... But that last part, was it all just a dream? Why did they all of the sudden teleport back?? The cliff hangers are real. If you ever decide to write a second part to this, let me know!! Anyways, this story was great!

Keep Writing,
KaeRae




vampricone6783 says...


Gabriel and William are my original characters and their stories are underneath my folder titled %u201CTown of Richardson%u201D.

The other characters and the setting is from the %u201CShadow House%u201D books by Dan Poblocki. It%u2019s fanfiction combined with my original characters.

Glad you enjoyed!



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Mon Apr 29, 2024 4:06 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well this was quite an intriguing little tale here. A little on the simpler side perhaps but definitely with some nice strong vibes going all the way through.

Anyway let's get right to it,

William looked around, absolutely dazed. A second ago, he and Gabriel were at the circus. Then, magically, they were transported to an abandoned home, the doors all locked and the windows all shut.

On the bottom of the staircase was a young girl in a cat mask. Perhaps she could be of help?

“Hey cat girl, where’s the nearest exit?” William asked.

The girl, ever so helpful, ran up the staircase. William and Gabriel followed after her, but the very floor of the house began twisting and turning…


Well that's quite the start to proceeding. You definitely get across how disorienting it is quite well there. The rather random cat girl is almost funny here with how that goes, I'm not sure that's intended, either way its a lovely start that we have here.

Gabriel held onto William’s arm tightly. He was shaking with fright, William could see that. He wished that he could tear off the stitches from Gabriel’s mouth so that he may be able to express his fear again, but such could not happen with ghosts.

Finally, the house tilted back to normal, except they were both in a different hallway.

Three kids stared up at them in shock. Two girls and one boy.

“You don’t look like any of the ghosts we’ve seen here so far.” The blond girl said.

“They’re not wearing any masks.” Added the black-haired girl.

“Who cares?! They’re still ghosts! One of them is a clown! Do you not see the danger that is right in front of us?” The boy asked.


Well this looks like quite a situation to get thrown into there. Love the chaos being created here by the sheer number of things being said just all over each other as they're trying to figure out what exactly to do in the moment.

“Yeah, I agree with Dash. We should leave.” The black-haired girl said.

The black-haired girl and Dash were about to leave, but the blond girl called out:

“Azumi! Dash! Wait!”

Gabriel felt as though the whole world was beginning to spin. William held onto him, so that he wouldn’t fall.

“What, Poppy?” Dash asked sharply.

“The veil between the dead and the living is thin in this house. They’re probably not from here.” Poppy said.

“Do I look like I care?” Dash asked.


Oooh this is getting a bit more intriguing. Looks like some physical effects are coming from the ghosts and as much as they're trying to be smart and leave the house might not just let them walk out quite that freely from the looks of things here.

“Now, just a minute. You can’t insult my friend like that, he’s been through more than you’ll ever know.” William said.

“Oh, really? He’s been through more than all of us? Him? The clown?” Dash asked.

Gabriel glanced at William, anxiety in his eyes, but William let go of him and charged at Dash.

The audacity he had to say that about his friend, to make him feel like a monster, to-

And just like that, they were back at the circus.


Oooh well that was quite the ending there. Things were about to go places but it seems we've been interrupted a little here and from the looks of things they won't get to fully process that moment after it is. It is quite the ending here.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall I'd say this is quite nicely done here. I think its a great little story, with plenty of moments of chaos and that rather abrupt ending there I think sums this up very well.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Kate




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Mon Apr 29, 2024 2:18 am
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Kirato says...



Pleasee make more!! The story is pretty interesting to me because I really enjoy the supernatural aspect with ghosts! ☺️ I haven’t checked to see if there’s a part two of this just yet but I’m definitely going to do that now, please keep writing!




vampricone6783 says...


There isn%u2019t a part two, but Gabriel William are in stories underneath my %u201CTown of Richardson%u201D folder.




A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
— Unknown