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12+ Violence Mature Content

Angelic Demon:Part Two

by vampricone6783


*The sequel to my story “Angelic Demon”. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Three characters named “Marcia”,” Rush”, and “Trixie” will be mentioned in other stories of mine. Enjoy, everyone. 

Chapter One

Seventeen year old Celestria was walking in the cemetery, holding the hand of her boyfriend, Draven.

They weren’t born human. They were something more.

Celestria was an angel and Draven was a demon. They had fallen in love and the world was against that, so they were stripped of their powers and sent to Earth as humans.

It didn’t bother them that much, but sometimes it got them upset.

As they were walking together in the cemetery, they stopped at a grave.

It appeared there were two people in one coffin. The grave said:

Here lies Marcia Blythe and Rush.

Marcia Blythe.

Born 2001, Sat, April Eleventh-Died 2017, Mon, January Third.

Rush.

Born unknown-Died unknown

They loved each other dearly.

Too bad their love couldn’t save them.

Celestria stared at the gravestones.

“Will that be us? Will we die out of love?” Celstria asked.

“No, of course not.” Draven said, pulling her close.

As they were walking in the graveyard, Celestria turned her head to look at the two lovers.

“I wonder why they don’t have any information on Rush other than his first name...” Celestria whispered to herself.



Chapter Two

Late into the night, Celestria walked back to the cemetery, holding a shovel.

She stopped at the same grave with the couple.

She didn’t know what came over her, but she plunged her shovel deep into the Earth and began digging.

When she was finally done, she found a shiny black coffin.

“Huh. Maybe they’re buried in the same coffin.” She said to herself.

She took out the coffin and with all the strength she had, she opened it.

She found a couple with blood all over them. One girl and one boy.

They were rotting, eyeless cadavers, the decay eating away at their flesh, the stench slithering into her nose.

“Ew.” Celestria said.

Suddenly, the bloody girl sat up.

“Who is there?” The girl asked.



Chapter Three

Celestria sighed. She might as well introduce herself.

“I’m Celestria. I dug you out of your grave. Who are you?” Celestria asked.

“I’m Marcia and this is my boyfriend, Rush.” She pointed to the other rotting corpse that was just beginning to stir.

“We’re supposed to be dead. This girl who got mad at Rush killed us.” Marcia said.

“So how are we talking?” Marcia asked worriedly, as if she were alarmed that she and Rush had awaken from the dead.

“I don’t know, okay! I’ll take you to my boyfriend. He’ll figure this out. Bring Rush over too.” Celestria said.

Chapter Four

“Look at what I found, Draven!” Celestria said once they got to their home.

But Draven wasn’t there.

Marica and Rush may not have had eyes, but if they did, they would have glared at her.

Celestria heard a strange noise coming from upstairs.

She followed the noise…



Chapter Five

When Celestria followed the noise, she ended up in the attic.

She watched as Draven talked to another girl, who seemed fo be glittering.

Wait, another girl?! Why was there another girl here?!

“Well done, Trixie. You’ve been a good friend.” He said.

“Well, it was very easy to kill Marcia and Rush. Now, all I need to do is destroy the world, with your help, of course.” Trixie said.

What?! Draven was a killer?!

“His friend is the person that killed us.” Marcia and Rush said.

His friend killed Marcia and Rush?!



Chapter Six

Draven turned around.

Uh oh. He found them.

“So, you want to know why I’m doing this? Because I’m tired of waiting for everything to be fine and to be let back into the spirit world, Celestria. So, I’m destroying the world. No world, no problems.” Draven said.

“Draven, no-“ Celestria was saying, but then he and Trixie disappeared.

“I think they teleported somewhere.” Marcia said.



Chapter Seven

Celestria ran out of her and Draven’s apartment, Marcia and Rush trying to catch up.

She couldn’t believe it.

Draven and Trixie were going to destroy the world.

She trusted Draven!

She bumped right into…

EVANGELINE!

Her sister who kicked her out of Heaven because she loved Draven, who was a demon.

She cried and hugged her. Evangeline hugged her back.

“You were right! All demons are bad! Draven’s going to destroy the world! I’m so-“ Celestria was saying, but Evangeline shushed her.

“Okay, so it turned out he’s not as he seemed. Big deal. But I was in the wrong too. I said that all demons are bad and that’s not true. He’s one demon. You trusted someone you just met and I said all demons were bad and I’m sorry for saying that to you. We all learned our lesson here.” Evangeline said.

“Now, let’s go save the world.” Evangeline said.

“Wait, I want to introduce you to some people.” Celestria said, feeling better after the talk with her sister.



Chapter Eight

Celestria took Evangeline to Marcia and Rush. After they introduced themselves, Evangeline said:

“This is all nice and fun, but we’ve got a world that needs saving.” Evangeline said.

So, they got out of the apartment and searched for Draven and Trixie.



Chapter Nine

After hours of searching for Draven and Trixie, they finally found them in a theater.

They were standing on the stage, holding something up to the Moon.

Celestria and the others approached them…



Chapter Ten

They were all changing.

Turning into their true forms…

“We’re angels again!” Celestria and Evangeline squealed happily.

“I’m a demon again!” Draven grinned.

“We’re alive again. We aren’t rotting corpses anymore.” Marcia and Rush said softly.

“You guys have new outfits, too.” Evangeline said, gesturing to Rush and Marcia. They no longer wore rags, but real, human outfits.

“Do you still want to destroy the world, Draven?” Trixie asked.

“You know what, no. I changed my mind.” Draven said.

“What?!” Trixie asked.

But Draven waved his hands in the air and Trixie disappeared.

“I took her back home, if you were wondering.” Draven said.

After he took her back home, everyone else went back home, too.

All ended well…



Characters in Gacha Club:

Celestria (angel):



Marcia (human form):

Rush (alive):

Evangeline (human form):


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235 Reviews

Points: 6841
Reviews: 235

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Tue Feb 07, 2023 10:31 pm
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4revgreen wrote a review...



Hi there!

I will review some chapters and then give my overall review of your lovely story :-)

Chapter 1
This chapter of the story explores themes of love, mortality, and identity as Celestria and Draven, former celestial beings, contemplate their fate as humans in the cemetery. The grave of two people who died from their love raises questions about Celestria and Draven's fate and the value of individual lives. The lack of information about one person buried raises questions about one's legacy. The chapter deepens the reader's understanding of the protagonist's thoughts and fears.I wish there had been more description to make us really feel apart of the story and know the surroundings better!

Chapter 2
This chapter introduces a plot twist and increases the reader's tension and suspense. Celestria, who was previously contemplating death, takes the audacious step of digging up the unknown couple's grave in the cemetery. The contrast between the previous chapter's calm and reflective tone and Celestria's shock and horror when she opens the coffin has a strong emotional impact.The image of the decaying couple with blood on their bodies adds a macabre element to the story and raises questions about the couple's fate and connection to the protagonist. The girl's sudden movement adds to the eerie atmosphere and sets up the following chapter for an unexpected twist or reveal. You used sensory details effectively to create a vivid scene and keep the reader engaged in the story.

Chapter 3
This chapter effectively advances the plot and raises new questions for the reader, increasing the overall intrigue and suspense of the story.

Overall
The story is written simply and easily followed, but it lacks depth and character development. The plot moves quickly and allows for little emotional impact. The resolution feels rushed and unsatisfying, with Draven's sudden change of heart. The story also raises unanswered questions about the nature of demons and angels. Overall, this is a quick and easy read that lacks depth and complexity.
There was no need for chapters as each was so short, it would have looked better as one long story. I think it has potential to be a really interesting story but needs some work on the descriptions and characters!

:-)




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54 Reviews

Points: 1442
Reviews: 54

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Sun Jan 29, 2023 8:44 pm
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Quillfeather wrote a review...



Hello! Quill here to write a short review!! Hope you're having a lovely day or night!

first impressions
First off: I love you're set up and close up of this story! You provided a great background and you don't leave the read with any questions when it's all over! Great job explaining the story well, it was relatively easy to understand what was happening, and I would love to learn more about some aspects, which I believe is key in a good story, there should be a few questions to keep the reader interested but don't leave conclusions too open. (I also love how they get some closure and joy in the end) You crated some great characters as well, they all have some interesting sides to them, but I especially enjoy Celestria (really cool name) and Evangeline

suggested growth
Some minor things is that there are often not spaces between words after commas. This is a minor thing but would really help you clean up and clarify your story as if often takes you out of the story a bit. Right here is an example but it happens a bit throughout (but not everywhere!)

It didn’t bother them that much,but sometimes it got them upset.
despite this one case you did a great job avoiding this even though it is something I noticed in past works. Great way to improve.
Second the thing that really jumped out at me is that the chapters are a bit short. I think you could condense them into one story without loosing anything. If you really must ad a divider you could do something like this


Your text here, as much as you want

...
More text here



Or if you wanted to expand these chapters to make them a book, first I would condense a few, because a few are very short, like this one: [/quote]
Chapter Four

“Look at what I found, Draven!” Celestria said once they got to their home.

But Draven wasn’t there.

Marica and Rush may not have had eyes, but if they did, they would have glared at her.

Celestria heard a strange noise coming from upstairs.

She followed the noise…
you could add this to the chapter before it, and add more discription and explore storylines a bit more.
It's all up to you!

Once again, great job, I enjoyed reading!
You have really improved your writing and I truly enjoy seeing it!
Keep writing!
~Quill





When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him.
— Euripides