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whiplash // i hope i live forever

by mothbroth

(my god)
my ghosts
they still whisper near
the river spinning tales of tomorrow -
prod my soul and its
ruins. i am a caricature of 
my previous self before i went
to face the slaughter. it is simple. 
it is perhaps something more than
what i imagined for myself. i am
unfortunate enough to devastate
myself with myself above
everything else.
they ask me
what it is like to be alive
in such a time like this.

i'm not sure how to answer yet.

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Points: 3
Reviews: 3

Wed Jan 26, 2022 4:26 am
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AtomicSpaceKid wrote a review...

I feel the sluggish pull out of writers block with this one. It feels that you are trying to convey a type of emptiness and feeling of being lost in expectations that others might have for you. I feel like this poem is very loose and versatile for how you can interpret it and I think that’s a really cool aspect to have in your poetry. Hope you’re able to get back into writing!

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Points: 0
Reviews: 0

Tue Jan 25, 2022 10:20 pm
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i2aku says...

Wow. This poem is incredible. I really enjoy the short, simple sentences. It reminds me of overwhelming thoughts and how only the shortest string of words can come to mind.

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272 Reviews

Points: 187
Reviews: 272

Tue Jan 25, 2022 5:51 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...

I liked reading this poem,it was very dramatic and detailed to read.I believe it’s about losing yourself to ideas.It’s about losing yourself into ideas and being gone into darkness,being reduced into nothingness,forever.It’s being gone,even if you are physically present.I think everyone has felt like this at one point.I hope you have a good and wonderful day and night.

What's the point of being a grown-up if you can't be a bit childish sometimes?
— 4th Doctor