Hey, Lele here for a review
Just wanted to say that this was good piece. It felt more like a conversation than a poem. It’s good. Feels natural, doesn’t feel forced. It sounds like an honest heart to heart.
I love the progression of this poem. From a broad awareness and understanding of what building connections in life is like to your own personal connection. It flows nice. I could sense the mix of regret, acceptance and reluctance.
“ there are rituals in place, there are snags and
loopholes of etiquette that allow us to be close;”
This is my favorite part. Good wordplay.
The way you compare life to a void is interesting.
The only thing I could say is I wish there was a smoother transition from the first and second stanza. Something to help bridge both ideas together better
Other than that, good work. Keep up the writing
Points: 349
Reviews: 20
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