Hi there tinybookfarie! Tuck stopping by for a short review
You use 'just' twice in close proximity—in my opinion, you don't need to use the first "just".It was the last sentence I had written after I just finished my very first diary entry. I never really thought that I would be needing a diary. It just never occurred to me to write down my thoughts and feelings.
It kept every single feeling you ever felt, and if you kept good care of it, then those memories and emotions would be conserved until you would open it up again and read it all.
Little does my grandma know that none of my emotions and memories are all butterflies and rainbows
I don't feel that the second sentence is necessary, it seems to just be repeating the same information that the first sentence gave us.Little does my grandma now that none of my emotions and memories are all butterflies and rainbows. In fact, it’s just the opposite, but I decided to give it a try.
This perspective on diaries and journals was interesting. I don't think I've ever heard that perspective put exactly this way before, so that aspect of it was excellent. However, I do get the sense that it wasn't quite completed. Like Amadeus said, this is significantly shorter than most works on YWS. You could definitely post longer if you wanted to, but it is worth considering that shorter works means that reviewers can zero in on more specific aspects of your story.
Overall, I liked the general feeling of this prologue. It almost felt like something that would play before a TV show, in my opinion. That's not a bad thing at all—in fact, it's a signal of good writing because the writers for TV shows are usually very experienced and talented. The prologue did its job in that it intrigued me and drew me in, and I'd love to read more from you! Please tag me if and when you decide to post the next part of this chapter. Hopefully my review was helpful to you, and if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me! And most importantly: keep writing!
~MJTucker
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