Hey gemmy! Incoming review!
It's been a while since I've reviewed one of your works. So here I am. Let me get into the review!
I'll start out with critique.
I feel like the use of place twice is slightly redundant. You could change it to something like, "...trying to keep me there." I feel like it fits better with the previous statements.misplacing me, trying to put me in my place.
The ellipses slows down the pace a lil too much. I think the ellipses you used before is used in good taste, though.so i step back and i don't fly,
my engine is stalled...
But that was all the critique I had, let me praise your work. I love the use of flight for this poem and the weight we feel in the poem. We usually associate flight with weightlessness. But we feel so much weight to this poem beacuse your plane won't lift off, and if it did, the weight would be too much for your plane to handle.
These line
Give off so much hurt and emotion. I think they're my favourite. I just kinda wonder what the deaths really are. Or maybe I'm too dense in the head and can't figure it out for myself lol.it tells me how if i flew, since i was unworthy,
my passengers would die deaths worse than those of it's crew...
so i step back and i don't fly,
But that's all I have for today. I hope you found some of it useful. Keep on writing, gem, I love to read it! Anyway byeeeeeeee<33333
Points: 13187
Reviews: 185
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