Hey,
So my guy wrote me something really beautiful today. Along with my complete and utter awe, I decided to post his lovely words.
" Dear angel,my everything,
Two years ago, I had a girlfriend. She was my first girlfriend, but I am so glad she wasn't my first love. May 2013, she broke up with me. I wasn't sad much about it. Anyways, during my short relationship with this girl I found you as a getaway. I didn't get why you liked talking to me. I was wierd , still am, pathetic, ugly, or just in other words going through puberty. If you remember, I came asking you for advice about what to do with my girlfriend. She asked me to change who I was. You told me i should not and that if she loved me she'd want me for who i really were. In the mean time you were being bullied by some bitches at school. They were so manipulative. You thought they sent me to trick you because i talked to you when no one did.
During that summer we began knowing each other. We began texting a lot tooo and I was happy. September came and it was the finale of the US open championship for tennis. That day you asked me who was the girl I liked now. And it was you. I told you 2 am.You were freaked out and you didn't wanna talk to me. I did't wanna lose my only friend. The next morning i texted you and you said you were really busy and cant talk. By time you started to be okay with this.
It was your 16th birthday , but i couldn't really do anything special for you. One of your friends once told you "Don't mingle with someone who is socially lower". It was about me and it was hurtful. You began getting attached to me but didn't wanna say it. I broke my arm once and that's when you first felt scared and worried about me. By 31 December you sent me a message saying " P.s. I think I might start liking you.Don't wanna talk about it".One day after that we were listening to songs and you cried because you've began falling for me. A while after, you admitted that you loved me. I was over the moon for this. I was truly in love.
We've been through a lot. Or maybe it was a long year and a half. Sweetheart, I've spent with you 546 days. We have been best friends and lovers. You're the best thing that's ever been mine. I love you so much now & forever.
Your guy.''
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Canary word: Present
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
I loved it.
I certianly wish I had a boyfriend and he could be as heartfelt as this.
But that whould never happen to me.
ugh im jelous.
Annyway While I was reading your amazingly beatiful letter while listening to an equally beatiful Coldplay, I came to a few questions. Which are:
Is this an actual letter? or just a fake made up just, I dunno, Beacuase you felt like it.
And I was kinda confused in the end when he said " That day you asked me who was the girl I liked now. And it was you. I told you 2 am." I told you 2 am? what does that mean?
Annywho, I loved it!!! And it tore my heart to shreads in a good way.
Again I am SO JELOUS!!! and I love any good romantic annything.
Thank You, Whosabell.
Okay, this is completely different from any love letter I've ever read in my life. I'm going to honest, I've never read anything other than poetry on YWS and the title pulled me hard, so thumbs up for that.
I'm just gonna say it was a pretty disastrous opening, I mean who does that! The next parts are a bit convincing but its like he's writing to someone who doesn't know the whole story or he's simply trying to convince you how much he's into you and how he remembers every detail. Its like he's trying to woo you and its okay, maybe even sweet but in a creepy way. Very off-the-track-kind letter but hey! Who am I to say anything?
I'm sorry if I offended you but you like it. That's all what matters.
Hey Tamtam!
I'm actually on a hiatus and haven't reviewed for a very long time, but the work's title on the literary spotlight caught my attention.
Before I start, I want to give you some background on myself. I have a boyfriend, and we have been together for over a year. We have never fought or shared negativity, even when he is in college 200 miles away. The connection we have is so deep that I call him my soul mate. He is the most loving, protective, understanding, patient, and kindhearted guy I have ever met. Yet, when I show pictures of him to my coworkers, they all say the same thing: "You can do better."
I understand the themes and concept of this letter, and if stripped of the meat, the skeleton of both of our relationships have grown in similar ways. Despite this, I stand by my side: I do not find this letter sweet at all. I'm sorry if I offend you or if this seems like harsh critique, but that is my first initial thought and opinion, so please do not take it personally.
So why, you might ask? Why do I not find this romantic letter not sweet at all?
Because it's not really romantic. The author's note specifically noted "lovely words," so I was expecting sweet word phrases like: I can look into your eyes all day, or your laugh, smile, and scent of honeysuckle makes me dream of your hugs, or your lips are lush and luminous like the sun... okay, that was really bad and very cheesy, but hopefully that paints some kind of romantic picture, albeit very exaggerated.
The hook is what gets the reader attention. If it's a love letter, it should really be centralized upon the girl he's in love with. Let's look at the piece's hook in comparison:
I bolded the sentences that contradicts love letters. I understand that the overall theme is to have the reader follow the history of your relationship and how it transcended from "he's icky and I will never be with him because he's below everyone" to "I love him for who he is, not for what everyone think of him," but it was poorly executed. It is a powerful and beautiful theme, but if the letter begins with "hey you weren't my first girlfriend," a reader (who is a love letter enthusiast) will not take the piece seriously. And then the paragraph mentions "manipulative bitches" which is a huge red flag to anyone wanting to read about honeysuckle-scented women who likes huggable men.
It is not until the last paragraph—the shortest paragraph—that the letter becomes an actual love letter.
Writing love letters is tough. I typed ten pages of the things I want to say to my boyfriend, but in the end I never showed it to him or really anyone because of two things: 1) it's rambly, and 2) it's basically a long, drawn-out history. This piece falls under the same category. Much like all of the paragraphs except the last one, it goes down the list of what happens. Then, bam, all of a sudden we're talking about this true love stuff in just a couple sentences. History of a relationship is great, but for it to be engaging and sincere, emphasis on the impact should be executed. Once again, this can be done in the hook.
For example, if I were to rewrite this:
I wrote that out of a whim so apologies if it sounds too cliche, but by a proper hook, emphasis is made. Afterwards a transition can easily be implemented.
With proper word choice, organization, and beginning, this love letter has the potential to be sweeter than ripened peaches. Tell your boyfriend that he has heartwarming intentions, and that he should write more love letters. After all, if you find a guy who writes you letters with sweet intentions, he's a keeper.
Cheers.
Carina
Ok, this is going to be kinda weird, the beginning reminds me of my life, except I was the one who fell head over heels! I could tell the guy though so I felt so broken when he started dating my best friend. But you can read my story for that! (The true suicide story)
Second, I do not agree with theironnovelist, because it is something I liked to read. To me you should be able to post anything you want, maybe you like having people know about it, I know I would!
Thirdly, I love it! It is so kind for someone to take time out of their schedule to write such a nice note! Thank you for sharing this with us!
(P.S. Please post some of your own work for me to review!)
First of all, why are you publishing this here?
You flat-out told us you didn't write it...
Young Writers' Society is a place for aspiring writers to share their OWN works that they've worked hard on themselves. What's the point of liking and reviewing when you didn't write this?
You're not becoming a better writer by this. Are you sure you're not just doing this for attention?
I'm not trying to be mean, but it's a little unfair that something you didn't write has been on the front page of the website and gets more likes and comments than something other young writers have been working hard on. All I'm saying is, to get notoriety, you should respect the website and those on it and earn it, the way it's intended to be.
If you want to share something like this with your friends on the website, try it through a private chat or blog.
Thanks for your time, and please keep writing.
Yours,
~iron.n
Awwww, so sweet, wish every guy was like this!
Apart from all that romance, that was actually literary-wise entertaining. Take it from a current writer in the business *not bragging*. Maybe you could encourage your boyfriend a little bit more about writing. If its writing about you that's making him good then so be it.
Hey
Your guy is a catch certainly. You'd better keep that love going on. I have a boyfriend too and he's more than amazing really. But I mean he'd never be that much loving and adorable
As for reviewing, the way words were used were really touching. Of course it could need a few corrections, but hey its a love letter so who's judging really. He made his point clear and his love reachable and that's the most important. Tell the dude to keep on writing you letters. Post them so i could stalk you
He's beneath you. Should've listened to your friend.
Yeah well you should shut up I guess because its not our problem if you're a lifeless loser with no one loving you. So keep your advice for yourself because ill be loving him no matter what.
Prok likes messing with people, don't take it personally XD
tamtam, that was a little bit harsh
This is simply beautiful. <3
Thank you (a)
Oh goodness. That is a beautiful, like a love story.
Yeah a love story i'm so obsessed with. Thank you.