TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of suicide and heartbreak, if any of these trigger you, I'd suggest you click off this poem :)
10 reasons why
The first time you'll see me, I'll be all smiles and care
I'll be the best thing in the world, I'll always be there
The second time you'll meet me, I'll defend my opinions with a full heart
My wit will be my weapon and I'll parry with my thoughts.
The third time you'll know me, I'll let you in my mind
But never in my heart
For it is a dark place.
The fourth time you chanced upon me, I had this weariness in my heart
Like something had just died in me, like I wasn't good enough;
And the fifth time you knew me, I spilled the shards of my broken heart
Like you were to blame, like you could help me get through
And the sixth time you knew me, you figured I just wasn't for you
That you didn't want to care about what I had gone through
That you were in for some fun- I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you
And the seventh time I stumbled upon you, you had wormed your way in my heart
Before scattering right out, leaving your holes and scars behind in me
And you accused me for hiding my true self, hiding the ugliness somewhere you couldn't see
And for that I am sorry.
For bearing a weight you just couldn't carry
And the eighth time you knew me, the broken pieces became sharp by the pain
And I shredded your heart with my words, just too afraid the pain would remain
And the ninth time you'll see me, you'll come at me full or reproach
Full of hatred in your eyes, and yet I can see the shame in your eyes approach
And the tenth time you'll see me, you'll barely look up
Without knowing that was the last time you'll ever see me
And so, incessantly, I'll repeat I am sorry
For it never needed to end by one of us taking the jump.